Addiction
by Kalidescopic-Zebra
Summary: A drug addict. An alcoholic. A chance encounter. Sasu/Naru
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**A/N:** _Summary doesn't sound very cheery, does it? And yes, it's not the most original of ideas, but maybe I'll add a few surprises here and there._

**Pairings:** Work it out. ;)

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**Addiction.**

Chapter 1

Midnight Wanders

The moonlit alleyways faded in and out of focus, distorted in a swallowing shroud of misleading mist. Sauske smiled, steadying himself against the tavern door, his legs clumsily failing him as he attempted to stand. He cursed in aggravation after meeting an abrupt collision with the cold cobble-stone floor and for a few moments he lay there, dozing carelessly. It was far from comfortable, he had to admit; the hard grit beneath his spinning head only contributed to his growing confusion. Why was he in this position again? Groaning in pain, he pulled himself to a sitting position, rubbing his head in pained puzzlement.

He'd been here before, quite often - in fact he even recognised the familiar chatter buzzing from the tavern's busy interior. Dark eyes glanced around lazily, searching for the nearest form of support, which happened to be a nearby street-lamp. He grasped hold of it firmly, tenaciously rising from the rippling ground below and breathing a sigh of accomplishment as he stood finally, feeling his surroundings dance around him mockingly.

In response to the sudden burst of movement, his stomach promptly emptied its contents in protest, causing Sasuke to lose his balance once more. He clung onto the street-lamp desperately, in hope of avoiding the cold confides of the cobbles stones again. Successfully locking himself onto the lamp, he slithered gingerly over toward the wall, delicately picking his way down the alleyway.

What if someone caught him?

Surely his reputation would be in ruin?

He stumbled slightly at that thought, wondering if anyone may happen to venture through the midnight labyrinth of alleyways so late at night. It wasn't likely, he thought, picturing the familiar faces of Konoha sleeping silently, minds focused on their own problems, bodies exhausted from a hard day's work.

Nobody had noticed his bizarre behaviour over the past few weeks; his late night strolls, his lack of enthusiasm during the day and even his increased irritability had slipped by seemingly unnoticed by his team-mates. He was secretly grateful for that fact. Just as long as he kept up his cold, cynical persona his late night drunken clumsiness could remain secret, cleverly hidden within his usual mysteriously silent attitude.

Certain that he could travel home quickly without drawing too much attention to himself, Sasuke increased his pace, reaching out for the reassuring support of the wall every few steps. He'd remembered the route back off by heart; turn left, then right across the bridge, another right and onto to the living apartments. They were simple enough directions to remember – he'd be home and dry soon. Suddenly motivated, he staggered forth triumphantly, casting aside his drunken doubts and marching nobly towards the empty town square. It wasn't long before he found himself tripping over his own feet and accidentally diving into the freezing waters of the town fountain.

Iced darkness engulfed him, edged with a sharp stab of pain, awakening his lingering senses and bringing about an unpleasant realisation. He was drunk, very drunk.

* * *

Naruto shivered against the chilling evening breeze, already regretting the idea of a midnight stroll to clear his mind. Indoors he'd felt trapped with the thoughts of his tormenting past paying their weekly haunting. Normally, he didn't dwell on them for too long, however tonight he'd not been able to distract himself. Regret and guilt had dominated his wandering mind, and he'd desperately sought out any possible escape, finding himself stood frozen outside his living quarters. 

He descended the steps quietly, keeping his eyes pealed for any other midnight adventurers. The town was silent much to his relief, and he proceeded to head over to the entrance gates.

Walking in a slow miserable fashion, Naruto closed his eyes and listened intently to soft symphony of the night. It was somewhat relaxing, taking in each little unique chime of sound and he found himself drifting off quite happily in the wrong direction.

Wandering aimlessly for a few moments, he promptly stopped in his tracks realising he'd somehow managed to end up in the rougher parts of town. Gulping sharply, his blue eyes darted around anxiously. There didn't seem to be anyone around luckily, although the shadier faces of Konaha were renowned for their invisible-like qualities. He pivoted round on the spot, checking each darkened alleyway for lurking figures. His pulse quickened at the sight of a scavenging bird, which was caught up in the disposal of another unfortunate creature's remains. Naruto stared, transfixed by the swift snaps and stabs from the scavenger's razor-sharp beak, as it tore apart feathered flesh mercilessly.

Piles of litter strayed idly, led by the encouraging wisps of wind, teasing the nervous blond with their sinister whistles. The place was deserted it seemed, though Naruto remained suspicious of his new subtly hostile surroundings and carefully began to retrace his steps before anything had chance to find him.

Minutes passed, and as Naruto travelled deeper into the bowels of the slightly less civilised part of town, he soon discovered that he had absolutely no sense of direction. He kicked a nearby trash can over, feeling anger pulsate vigorously through his body. How could he get lost in Konaha? He'd memorized every last landmark, building, signpost, district – aside from the one he was currently lost in. Burning anger quickly turned to saddened despair and he sank to the ground, crouching in defeated weariness.

He'd wait until the first light of morning. With a bit of light to guide his way he was certain he'd find his way back. He nodded to himself in agreement, acknowledging the radiant twilight of the star-filled sky above, though doubt still remained. Would he be safe resting in such a dodgy area? It had proven to be safe so far; he'd not been attacked or confronted, however looks could be deceiving in these kinds of situations. Clutching his shaking body to gain protection and warmth, Naruto bowed his head in contemplation, easing his mind away from possible horrors to the alternate world of past horrors.

**----**

From the cover of disguising shadows, a stranger took interest in the downtrodden figure before him. Clad in carefully chosen darker garments, the stranger stood hesitantly, surveying the surrounding area for any 'interferences.' He'd spotted Naruto early on near the outskirts of his trading spot and had decided to follow him in hope of landing a deal. He refrained from approaching the figure without his inventory of possible questions to ask; catching the target off guard with sudden conversation always resulted in loss of a potential customer – he didn't want to risk it.

Suddenly seizing the opportunity, the stranger pulled up his hood and leapt out from his hideout window-ledge silently.

**-----**

"Hey, Kid," he began in voice filled with fake concern, drifting rather than stepping in the direction of the crouched blonde. "Why the long face?" A sly smile spread across his heavily-pierced lips, as his victim jumped to his feet in shock. His smile melted into a devious smirk as he noticed the boy was perfect customer material – undoubtedly he was no older than eighteen, gullible and desperate-looking.

"Oh eh…" Naruto gasped, struggling for words, as he discreetly made a large distance between himself and the stranger. He squinted, trying to catch a glimpse of the stranger's face, however the density of the darkness prevented him from seeing any notable features and he continued to back away, fumbling for an exiting line.

"Don't be alarmed; I'm here to help." The stranger said, lowering his hood as a sign of peace. Naruto gawped, shocked by the normality of the boy's appearance. He had to be in his late teens and bore a similar resemblance to a certain someone. Feeling himself colour up over the intensity of the stranger's penetrative stare, Naruto scanned his mind for which person he'd been reminded of – nobody came to mind.

"What brings you here?" The stranger pressed on, pushing a few stray strands of dark hair behind his ears. He didn't seem or look aggressive, though there was something suspicious about him. Naruto had apparently lost the ability to speak, as he lips remained motionless and he continued to stare on in dumfounded awe.

"Not very talkative, are we?"

The stranger's pleasant smile changed to a displeased frown and he advanced on the startled boy, driving him further back.

"Look, I'm not feeling overly social right now," Naruto snapped, breaking his silence as felt his head crash into a walled-barrier. "Just stay back, alright?"

"Oh." Stopping in his tracks, the stranger smiled sympathetically once more. He dove into one of his cloak pockets trying to locate the desired item. "I have something I'd like to show you."

"I don't want to see it!" Naruto barked as an intense blush spread across his face, assuming the stranger was referring to something else. In panic, he chanced a look toward the closest alleyway, wondering if he'd be able to escape.

"Now now, no need for that kind of attitude. I believe you'll be interested in what I have in this package here." The stranger rummaged around in his pockets, without noticing his sales target was slipping away.

"No, really - keep your package to yourself – I'm off!"

"Ah, here it is!" bellowed the stranger in overjoyed achievement. "Happiness in a small capsule"

**-----**

Happiness?

Naruto paused in his half-dash, suddenly intrigued by the stranger's advisement, forgetting all thought of running away.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, turning to face the grinning stranger. A small bag of rather colourful capsules hung from the stranger's hand, swaying gently in the breeze. Naruto ventured closer, warily, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"As I said; these things will make you unbelievably happy, forget all your worries – forget the past and live on peacefully in the future. Imagine yourself in careless bliss."

"All of that in one pill?" Already he was sold. The very thought of forgetting the past pleased him immensely. To him it was a life without regrets – a fresh start.

"All of that and much more!"

"I can have them…" Naruto caught his tongue, aware he was pushing his luck. "They're free, right?"

"Why, of course." The stranger said, his smile growing increasingly creepy by the second. He held out the package quite freely. "They're on the house."

It was too good to be true; there had to be a catch. Why on earth would anyone want to help him out for free? He suddenly remembered where he was, and momentarily snatched his trailing hand back.

"Something wrong?" the stranger asked, cocking his head in a questioning fashion. "They're not poisonous if that's what you're thinking!"

"Oh no! Nothing of the sort!" Naruto stammered, afraid the offer may possibly be withdrawn due to his awkward indecisiveness. "It's just… well… why?"

"Hmm?"

"Why are you helping me?"

Raising an eyebrow in startled interest and replacing his hood, the stranger approached the perplexed blond once more.

"Simply because," he whispered, leaning a little too close for a certain person's comfort. "I can." Naruto allowed his hand to be opened forcefully, as the stranger lowered the package into his shaking hands. The stranger's hands were like icicles frozen over in bizarre mystery and Naruto found himself shuddering against the remarkably chilling touch.

"Th-thanks," he stuttered, unconsciously clasping his hand shut as if to protect his most precious belonging. He glanced warily to the now hooded-stranger wanting to show his gratitude more however, his mouth remained closed in disbelief. Had he just accepted dodgy-looking pills from a mysterious person he'd never laid eyes on before? Shaking his head in denial, he quickly tried to reassure himself that the stranger had his best interests at heart. Unfortunately it didn't all quite add up, but he'd recently learnt that most things in life hardly ever made sense.

"Not a problem," said the stranger, turning on his heel and pulling his cloak around in preparation to take his leave. "Just don't take them all at once, unless you want to spend the next month in Kaleidoscopic Wonderland." He added with a small laugh, watching his new customer's face light up in question.

"Huh?" Naruto gaped, his mind already forming images of an overly happy rainbow-like village.

"You'll see." The stranger said with finality, suddenly taking a great interest in his watch. "Anyway, I must be off now – do take care, won't you?"

Naruto nodded, smiling nervously as several questions began to tug against his lips pleadingly. "How will I know where to find you again?"

"Aah, good question! Yes, very good question… now, let me think…" The stranger pondered for a few moments before speaking once again. "Well, most evenings you can find me in Red Leaf Inn, which isn't far from here – just to the left of the Arena in fact." He said, swaying his arms in various directions. Naruto forgot where he'd pointed almost instantaneously, his memory proving to be useless at every possible opportunity.

"Say, what's your name again? Don't think you mentioned one, did you?" The stranger asked, pulling his hood down a little to reveal his dark, quizzical eyes.

"Oh… it's Naruto." Naruto responded automatically, deciding against giving out his full name.

"Naruto, eh? Great name – certainly one I won't forget." The stranger answered, his voice filled with intrigue and wonderment.

"What about you?" Naruto spat out with haste, trying to turn the subject away from himself.

"Me?"

"Your name."

"Humph, don't get asked that often, heh." The stranger laughed, sounding somewhat surprised. "I go by many names, though around these parts I'm most commonly known as Bob."

"Bob?" Naruto repeated almost dumbly, astonished by the simplicity of the curious stranger's title.

"That's right. If you want to find me again, simply ask for Bob in The Red Leaf Inn – they'll know who you're talking about, don't worry." Said Bob with certainty, regarding his watch once more. "I'm going to be late."

"Ah, sorry to keep you!" Naruto gasped, concerned about irritating his new acquaintance after he'd been so friendly. Bob merely smiled and shook his head.

"Enjoy them, Naruto. I'm sure we'll meet again soon." He then vanished with speed, as a gust of wind enveloped the deserted alleyway. Shielding his eyes from the snapping leaves, Naruto clung on desperately to the bag of colourful pills in fear of dropping them.

**-----**

What had just happened?

He wasn't entirely sure, though it must have been real; the bag of pills made that evident. Despite everything that had happened, his situation hadn't really changed all that much as he was still hopelessly lost. Sighing, he contemplated whether to try one of the pills now or later.

Were they even safe?

Bob's guarantee of safety wasn't exactly the most comforting of things – why on earth would a guy devote most of his nightlife to handing out free pills to random nobodies? The answer hid deep below, in the ceaseless caverns of oblivion.

Naruto didn't find any of his other options particularly appealing. Staying the night would likely drive him into the pits of despair and he didn't fancy venturing down any of the dimly-lit alleys. Without another thought, he tore the bag open delicately, tipping it at an angle, easing several small pills out carefully into the palm of his hand.

"Here goes," he breathed, depositing the pills into his mouth and in one decisive moment swallowing with a sharp gulp. It was only a matter of waiting now.

_Nothing's changed_, he thought, surveying the familiar cobble-stones beneath him and the darkened alleyways around him. _Nothing at all_… perhaps I'm doing something wrong.

"I'd say you certainly are doing something wrong, without a doubt," said a deep voice from behind. Naruto jerked on the spot upon hearing the new voice, spinning around and half-collapsing at the sight in front of him.

"Clumsy as always."

Pink, yellow polka-dots, floppy ears and familiar face caused him to blink several times, as the strange phenomenon smirked down at him in arrogant amusement.

* * *

**A/N:** _I'm a very lazy writer so updates are likely to be next week!_

**Reviews are appreciated. ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Any OOC-ness will be explained later in the story. For now, enjoy a certain someone's marvellous dress-sense. ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Pink and Fluffy Madness

"Y-you!?! What are you doing here?! Why are you wearing THAT?!"

Uchiha Itachi stood proudly in disgustingly pink and yellow polka-dotted glory, seemingly unaffected by the sudden bombardment of questions. He shrugged, allowing his floppy, white-tipped ears to hang stylishly over one of his eyes.

"Hmm, don't you like it?" He said quite simply, his voice echoing somehow around the deserted courtyard. "I've been told the style quite suits me… though I suppose we've all got different tastes, haven't we?"

He could hardly believe it; he was actually conversing about fashion with the highly feared Uchiha Itachi, who was dressed somewhat remarkably. Struggling to his feet, Naruto couldn't remove his widened eyes from the pink fluffy sight above him.

"I've several more at home in a variety of colours!" The fluffy Uchiha continued, stretching his arms out as if to model his bizarre costume. "Flashy isn't it?"

Naruto paused, contemplating whether the amazing spectacle before him was actually a hallucination. He stared, jaw dropped, body motionless, as a puffy hand was lowered in his direction.

"What are you doing down there?" Itachi questioned, sounding genuinely puzzled. "Surely it's not very comfortable?"

This was definitely a hallucination, without a doubt – the bunny suit said it all. Naruto gave a short laugh, accepting the offered hand as it pulled him to his feet. He smiled weakly, giving the Itachi-Bunny a wary glance as he attempted to compose himself again.

"Oh, I apologise; I've not answered your questions!" Gasped Itachi, in the most monotonously bland voice he could muster as he jumped in a dramatic half-flail. "Well, in response to them; Yes, it is indeed me. I'm here because I have important business to take care of and as for the bunny-suit…" He hesitated for a few moments, cupping his chin in what looked like deep, intellectual thought.

"It's flashy?" Naruto offered, choosing to play along with the ridiculousness for now.

"Aah yes – couldn't have put it better myself." Itachi concluded with a twisted smile, as he fiddled with the sequined detail around his sleeve. After a last sharp pluck of achievement he turned to the confused blond, eyes darting around in a suspicious manner. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"Err…" Naruto began, uncertain of whether he should be communicating so casually with a figment of his imagination.

"I was just wondering… are you perhaps lost?" Itachi whispered, glancing around in fear of any possible eavesdroppers. "You have a very vacant-looking face."

"Vacant-looking?! And no, I just took a wrong turn back there!" Naruto growled, clearly offended he was being insulted by a guy dressed in a pink bunny suit. "Or maybe a couple of wrong turns…" he added as an afterthought.

Itachi merely smiled in response; his carefree attitude becoming increasingly disturbing – this guy was unreal in both mannerisms and appearance. Bob's pills had undoubtedly taken effect; though Naruto was slightly surprised by the fact his hallucination took the form of Uchiha Itachi.

"Not to worry; I know the way out!" Itachi said, attempting to put cheer in his voice but failing miserably. He made a swift grab for Naruto's wrist, and practically flew down the nearest alleyway without a word of warning.

"Hey – wait – what are you doing?!" Naruto yelled, caught off guard as he was dragged roughly down a series of similar-looking alleyways. "I didn't ask for any help!"

His words passed by unnoticed by Itachi, who continued on his speedy path of guidance, only stopping at every other fork, quickly deciding on which route to take. Naruto could barely maintain the speed let alone his balance; he'd tripped numerous times on raised cobblestones and debris only to be pulled once more into a forceful sprint.

----

"STOP!"

Naruto felt the vice-grip vanish from his wrist, as he fell forward, panting heavily. His lack of stamina came as a nasty discovery. All strength abandoned his drained body and he found that he wasn't able to move from his current position. Crouching slightly, he raised his head to locate the crazed Uchiha, finding that he was alone in the town square.

Had he disappeared?

What a relief… Naruto thought, feeling motivated by the fact he was in familiar surroundings once more. He gave himself a few moments to regain his strength, waiting for the rushing warmth to embrace his body.

The Uchiha was nowhere in sight. The hallucination had obviously ended.

The huge fountain situated in the centre of the square was lit-up in spectacular radiance. Naruto felt drawn towards it somehow. He rose to his feet, staggering slightly as a strong breeze whipped briefly across the square, sweeping along spirals of leaves as it passed.

He wandered towards the majestic fountain, mind still dwelling on his recent bizarre experience. Seeing Uchiha Itachi in that state had been an unexpected result of consuming the pills, but even so… it didn't make sense. What relevance did his peculiar behaviour and clothing have to his current state of mind?

Upon climbing the smooth, mosaic steps of the fountain, he silently took a seat beside the cascading waterfalls, absent-mindedly watching ripples form on the water's surface. He almost felt content, just sitting there with the gentle sounds of falling water playing beside the symphony of bird chirps, announcing the fast approaching morning.

The sky above had lightened, casting small fragments of light, which outlined the edges of each surrounding building in a golden hue. Naruto didn't notice. He was far too caught up in thought. The pills had proved to be of little use, aside from the small amusement he'd found in the bunny-costume.

Removing his gaze from the hypnotizing ripples to the bag of pills, he quickly stuffed them into his nearest pocket with a grunt. He'd have to discard them later – somewhere no-one would find them. On that thought, he returned to his stare to the fountain, spotting several glinting coins planted in the grit beneath. He leaned in closer, trying to identify the value of the coins.

A jolt of pink shot rapidly across the water's surface, disrupting the order of the waltzing ripples. Naruto blinked, seeking out the cause of the disturbance, squinting as his eyes met their reflective doubles. Vaguely, behind his own reflection he could make out something brightly coloured – something fluffy – with ears!

"You went wandering!"

Gulping, Naruto resentfully turned his head around to find a certain someone he wasn't overly pleased to see.

"Honestly, how am I supposed to help you if you keep running off?" Itachi groaned, stamping his foot in impatience. "I've been looking for ages!"

"I thought you'd gone…" Naruto said wearily, rubbing his temples in hope of vanquishing the pink menace. "You're not real…"

"I think you'll find I am."

"Definitely not."

"Oh, but I am!"

"I'm not buying it…"

The forceful impact came as an unpleasant shock, knocking him backwards into the fountain's swallowing pools. Naruto coughed violently, spluttering grimy water, as he hit the surface, his body shuddering in protest to the sudden change in temperature.

"Now, you see…" Itachi jeered, apparently finding his last action not humorous in any aspect. "I'm completely and utterly real. Did that hurt? I bet it did – serves you right."

Naruto attempted to show his disapproval vocally however, a coin shot out from his mouth preventing him from doing so.

"Oh my, you got lucky!" Itachi said, retrieving the coin and pocketing it. "We'll be rich in no time!"

"This is unbelievable..." Naruto said, nursing his throbbing head. Surely the pills had lost effect by now? And surely hallucinations weren't able to throw such hard punches? He didn't bother getting up from his slumped position directly beneath the artificial waterfalls; instead he closed his eyes tightly, urging his mind back to the world of reality.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked, crouching down to give the retreating blond an encouraging poke. "I didn't hit you that hard," he said, examining his fist in curiosity "one of my softer punches, I'd say."

Naruto ignored him, as he rambled on in detail how to knock someone out for several hours, waving his hands to demonstrate the required actions.

"Timing is crucial; you've got to catch them when they least expect it. I myself like to count down before delivering the blow, so I normally count to ten and- you're not even listening, are you?!"' Aggravated that his 'pearls of wisdom' weren't being appreciated, Itachi made a grab for the dozing boy's neck, snarling from beneath his smirk.

"Eh?" Naruto gasped, suddenly wide awake "oh yes, I agree – a very good point."

Itachi loosened his grip, seemingly calmed by Naruto's fake praise and interest. "If you'd like to know more, just ask; I've all the time in the world."

An unnerving feeling of bitterness swept over Naruto, as he imagined himself being followed by the bizarrely-dressed Uchiha for the rest of his days. "Say," he began, scavenging around for the appropriate words. "Didn't you have business you needed to take care of?"

At the mention of business, Itachi's ears pricked up as if they'd been hit by a sudden stroke of lightening. His smirk changed to a troubled frown and he began scratching his head in deliberation. "You're right," he breathed, becoming surprisingly anxious. "I'd forgotten all about it…"

"Better go sort it out, eh?" Naruto suggested, seizing his chance to lose unwanted company. He needed to act fast; already the town square was bathed in the cool, indigo tones of dawn and the air grew dense with morning dew.

"I must leave you now, my sincerest apologies," Itachi stated politely, looking toward the town gates in anticipation. "Before I go, there's something important I need to tell you."

"Oh?"

"Yes, come close; it's highly important that you keep this to yourself."

Naruto stood with difficulty, as his clothes were drenched and his body had missed out on a night's rest. Gingerly, he walked over to Itachi, half-expecting another punch.

Certain they were alone, Itachi took a deep breath and began to speak...

-----

"That can't be!"

Sasuke stirred, fighting the growing temptation to submit to sleep once more. His eyes flickered viscously, pleading to be rescued from the harsh, tormenting light. With an effort he forced them open, and tried to make sense of his situation.

"Who did this?!"

As his vision steadied, he began to recognize a few familiar buildings and it became apparent that he'd been sleeping in the town square.

Not again, he thought, gasping for water as the loathsome taste of vomit filled his entire mouth. For the third time this week he'd awoken to find himself in the very same spot with a banging headache and foul-tasting breath – it had almost become part of his daily routine.

"I don't believe you!"

That incessantly annoying voice – who did it belong to?

It drilled through his battered head, amplified several hundred times in spite. The voice was irritatingly familiar, yet he couldn't put a name to it.

"I bet you're behind this!"

Judging by the brightening sky and the lack of people around the square it was still early hours; he'd been lucky – just like the last time. The voice bothered him and he sought out the nearest cover – the fountain.

"It doesn't make sense – it just doesn't make sense!"

The voice grew louder as he crept towards the fountain and he wondered whether he should choose another hiding place.

"If the village knew, they'd help!"

Much to Sasuke's dislike the conversation was becoming progressively more interesting and he impulsively sped after it, curiosity burning.

"Why is it confidential? Everyone has a right to know!"

Selecting the precise moment, Sasuke peered from behind a water-spouting statue, making sure to remain still as his angered head wrestled him down. Regardless of the short distance between himself and the conversation, Sasuke was still unable to make out the voice of the other speaker.

"As you wish," said the voice with finality, reluctantly defeated. "I'll let you know what happens."

Sasuke grinned in achievement, locating a perfect peeping spot however, the grin rapidly disappeared as the speaker was identified.

"Naruto?!"

* * *

**A/N: As always, reviews are appreciated. ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Isn't it weird how you plan a chapter out and it never goes according to plan? Longest chapter yet, enjoy. And My god, reviews! Thanks a lot, guys; makes me write faster. ;)**

Chapter 3

Meetings

Their eyes met in bewildered shock; both of them astonished to see one another lurking around the town square at such an early hour. Wordlessly, Sasuke left the cover of the fountain, glancing around in search of the other speaker. Naruto appeared to be drenched, shivering and alone.

"Bit early for you, isn't it?" Sasuke began, disguising his shock, uncertain of where to start his interrogation. "Been swimming?" he added with cynicism, acknowledging the blonds' dripping clothing. Naruto didn't respond; he simply pivoted around on the spot in panic, coming to a grinding halt in shock as if he'd expected to find something unpleasant.

"He's gone…" Naruto whispered, biting his lip in pained realisation. He threw Sasuke a suspicious gaze, seeking out any abnormalities.

"Who?" Sasuke asked with a confused frown, slightly taken aback by the other boy's harsh stare. "The person you were arguing with?"

"You heard?!" A look of sheer horror flitted across Naruto's face and his body suddenly gave way to tremors of uncontrollable shaking.

"Well, yes. At the volume you were yelling I'd be quite surprised if anyone didn't hear." Sasuke said indifferently, eyeing the quivering blond with an enquiring look. "I didn't hear the entire conversation - just the confidential parts."

'This is bad!' Naruto put a shaking hand to his creased forehead in worry. He'd assumed he was the only who could see and hear Itachi, but Sasuke could too somehow. "Weren't you shocked to hear his voice again?" Naruto chanced the question, anxious about bringing up a tender subject with the other boy.

"Hm?" Sasuke grunted, seemingly oblivious to the fact Naruto was referring to his brother. "What do you mean?"

"Uhm… well, it's been a while and uh…" Struggling for words, Naruto fixed his stare upon a cobblestone, suddenly finding great interest in its grimy surface.

"Well?" Sasuke demanded, growing impatient already. He noticed the blonds' reluctance to part with information and took a few uneasy steps forward in hope of intimidating him.

"Well… he's… you know…" Naruto trailed on, pleading for any kind of interruption to make itself apparent. How on earth was he supposed to explain Sasuke's murderous brother's sudden and spectacular reappearance? And how the heck was he supposed to explain the costume? Should he even mention it at all?

"No, I don't know. Please elaborate!" Sasuke snarled, feeling the rough tugs of last night's foolery heighten his wavering temper.

"You definitely heard?" Naruto repeated, attempting to calm himself and finally make eye-contact with the dark-haired boy. He wondered secretly whether the Sasuke before him was actually an illusion; after all what business might Sasuke be taking care of this early in the morning?

"We've established this already, idiot; yes, I heard!" Outraged by the fact he wasn't getting any answers, Sasuke took a further two steps forward, growling underneath his breath. "I've not got time to mess around, idiot, now tell me who-"

"I want to know," Naruto cut in calmly, maintaining a level gaze with the fuming brunet. "I want to know why you're here."

"Don't change the subject!" Sasuke hissed defending himself. He promptly closed the short distance between himself and the other boy in one sharp movement. Truthfully, he was desperate to avoid the subject of his reasons for being here; he'd always guarded his drinking problems with supreme secrecy.

Naruto shook his head, feeling Sasuke's breath creep wistfully over his parted lips. It was a strong scent of something disgustingly familiar – he wanted to get away from it.

"Are you sick?" Naruto asked, suddenly putting a name to the foul-smelling odour, which undoubtedly was the pungent waft of vomit.

Standing hardly a few inches apart, both boys became aware of a quick-developing tension, which tied them together in frozen conflict. Sasuke was an impressive shade of white; iced-pearl bathed in troubled weariness. He didn't remove his intense stare from the blond, despite the awkward queasiness rising from beneath the pits of his empty stomach.

Moments passed and neither spoke, remaining in stilled, silent combat. Naruto didn't know how much more he could stand; Sasuke's glare had an unexpected impact on him. Secretly, he was embarrassed. Underneath his confident and certain exterior, he was violently sweating, trembling and wishing to spill the truth however; he couldn't – not given past circumstances. He took the alternative, switching his concern to Sasuke's seemingly fatigued appearance.

"You're not looking too good; can we talk about this later?"

Sasuke breathed in sharply, taking the option into careful consideration. He gathered a suitable comeback, but much to his surprise the answer came out of its own accord.

"I suppose it's been a hard night…"

He wanted to clamp his mouth shut tightly. He wanted to close out all the escaping words. He wanted everything to remain secret. He unfortunately, hadn't been quick enough and now found himself stuck in a difficult position.

"How come?" Naruto asked, his tone sounding somewhat sympathetic. He quickly realised he was still stood very close to the other boy and felt a discreet warmth delicately spread across his face. _Side-effects_, he thought, finding no other plausible reason.

"It's not important," Sasuke said with a disguised desperation, intent on guiding the attention away from his late-night activities. "You're not looking overly healthy either, idiot."

"A-am I?" Naruto gasped, wondering if the pills had any other lingering side-effects. Maybe he was feverish? He was feeling overwhelmingly warm. What if Sasuke's presence was one of them?! He reached out gingerly touching the brunet's shoulder in search of reality.

Sasuke eyed him with quiet interest, before growling in objection.

"What are you doing?!"

"I'm not entirely sure," Naruto whispered, swiftly withdrawing his hand. "Did you perhaps come here with a guy in a pink bunny-suit?" He added, wanting to slap himself several times on the forehead after realising how ridiculous it had sounded.

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, with an incredulous smile. "Can you just repeat that? Don't think I heard you properly."

"A guy in a pink bunny-suit," Naruto repeated nervously, watching the other boy sigh hopelessly, as he crossed his arms in disbelief.

"You're speaking gibberish," he said, with a half laugh and a knowing look in his dark eyes. "No change there."

"No – he was here – right here!" Naruto pushed on, becoming quite hysterical. He grasped Sasuke by the shoulders and started to shake him quite roughly to emphasize his point.

Allowing himself to be shaken vigorously, Sasuke waited for the opportune moment to get his hand to the apparently crazed blonds' forehead.

"Idiot," he said urgently, as the intense heat spread rapidly across his hand, "you're burning up!"

----

Naruto ceased from his madness briefly, raising a hand to his own forehead in sheer horror. Sasuke was right; his forehead was near melting point. He staggered backwards, away from the other boy, in fear of any further questioning. What if he let slip about the plans? Feeling increasingly delirious, he glanced at a puzzled-looking Sasuke and decided it was time to make an exit.

"I'm uhm… I need a shower – gonna go home – I'll erm – yeah, see you later?" He said in a rushed-tone, flashing a forced grin as he gave the other boy a nervous wave. "Yes! I will see you later – we're on the same guard duty today – great, I'll look forward to it – but right now, need to go so erm-"

"We're on duty in half an hour," Sasuke cut in, eyeing his watch. "Doubt you'll have enough time; you're better off just-"

"I'll be quick!" Naruto shot in, hardly giving the brunet time to speak as he turned on his heel and strode across the cobble-stone square. He had to hurry; the village had started to stir. Already, stalls were being opened, as their heavy shutters gave a rusty clank, announcing the start of the morning market. Just how long had he spent talking to Sasuke? All traces of the night had vanished during their short conversation and now the sun began to rise majestically in the misty blue sky.

Time appeared to be on fast-forward – to Naruto at least. He didn't really understand why he'd spent the entire night accepting gifts from overly-friendly strangers, following pink bunnies and trying to feed his rival a story he had trouble believing himself.

"The pills…" he breathed, lowering a hand into his back-pocket in search of the small package. His hand clasped around them almost immediately and he shuddered at their touch, suddenly quite invigorated, silently excited. "I must get rid."

A chilly hand slid over his exposed wrist, which was a sweet relief on his burning skin; however, his appreciation disappeared instantaneously as he was pulled back in a violent manner to a pale, angered face.

"Look, idiot – don't run off while I'm still talking!" Sasuke snarled, refusing to relinquish his vice-like grip.

"Aah- sorry! I didn't… hear you and – I'm in a rush, you know!" Naruto gasped in desperation, attempting to free himself. Though he looked exhausted, Sasuke stood his ground proudly, his eyes shining with defiance.

"I'm well aware," he began in a raspy voice, coughing slightly as he tried to continue. "Before you so kindly decided to take your leave, I was about to make you an offer."

"An offer?" Naruto questioned, his mind reverting back to Bob's offer in panic. "I've had enough offers for one night, so I think I'll pas-"

"You can come back with me," Sasuke stated simply, looking across the square to the northern bridge. "I'm nearby – you'd have time to get dry."

"Eh?! You're asking me to-" Naruto blurted out, astonished by the proposal. He was expecting the other boy to pull out a bizarrely coloured bunny-suit at any moment. This guy; he couldn't be Sasuke – not the Sasuke he knew.

"Don't take it the wrong way, idiot," Sasuke muttered, frowning at the blonds' over-exaggerated response. "It's not like I'm asking you to move in with me; you're out in thirty minutes."

"You're sure you haven't seen the guy in the pink-"

"Start blabbering gibberish again and I'm leaving you here."

Naruto laughed slightly, a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips. He wasn't sure whether he was still hallucinating or not. Was Sasuke actually being nice to him for once?

"There must be a catch," Naruto stated suspiciously, hoping to find a reason behind the other boy's rare outburst of kindness. "Surely you want something in return?"

Sasuke shrugged casually and began to make his way over to the bridge without uttering a word. Naruto was left to make his own judgements, though he found his attention-span to be struggling, as another wave of heat enveloped his body. His clothes were still damp from his encounter with the fountain and his mind still blindly confused by the pills. Sasuke's offer was highly tempting.

"Staying there, then?"

Sasuke had stopped in his tracks, and now stood facing the hesitant blond with a demanding expression pasted on his tired face.

"Lead the way," Naruto said impulsively, throwing himself into a forced jog to catch the other boy up. Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement, striding once again in the direction of the bridge.

"Keep up, idiot."

"Will do."

----

"Don't touch!"

"Aah… sorry!"

"You're doing it again!"

"But I was just curious!"

"Curiosity will get you kicked out!"

Sasuke snatched the photo-frame viciously from the blonds' fiddling hands, quickly tossing it aside on a nearby sofa. He was already regretting the fact he'd invited Naruto back to his living quarters. From the moment he'd unlocked the doors and spotted the tell-tale glimmer of several empty bottles, he'd wanted to withdraw the offer.

"Stay there," he ordered, feeling his throat prickle fiercely as he raised his voice. He grunted in pain, looking down on the blond with authority. "Don't open the door until I tell you to, understood?"

"Eh, why? Hiding personal items?" Naruto quizzed, grinning at the frowning brunet as he put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure it can't be much worse than Kakashi-sensei's collection."

"Think what you like," Sasuke retorted indifferently, disposing of Naruto's hand as if it had been dragged through the sewers. "Just stay."

"Well alright, if you insist," Naruto sighed; slightly disappointed his magnificently good humour wasn't being shared. The door was promptly slammed and the vague noises of rushed cleaning and clanging bottles soon followed.

----

Relieved to have a moment alone, Naruto gazed at his new, breathtaking surroundings, taking in the tranquil beauty of the forest's edge. He'd followed Sasuke through a number of weird and wonderful places, which he'd lingered in for seconds, captivated by the wonderfully shiny trinkets the stalls had sold. Of course, he'd been dragged away roughly before he got chance to purchase anything of interest. He growled in annoyance, forgetting his rampant fever and exhaustion – shiny objects took priority.

Unlike his own living quarters, Sasuke's were reasonably large and secluded. The view overlooked the outer town walls, which were covered entirely in the emerald greens of clawing ivy. Scattered around in small clumps, were tall, dominating trees. Their dense leaves covered the sky, preventing all but a few splinters of light to shine upon the lonely dwellings, causing it to be a seemingly gloomy place.

A curse of aggravation brought his attention back to the hidden activity behind the door. Sasuke was obviously having issues with hiding his 'personal possessions.' Spotting a nearby window, Naruto quietly slipped across the wooden-panelled walls of the house, crouching down before he stole a glance through the curtained window.

"Guess he likes his privacy…" Naruto snickered, not hearing the soft click of the door, slowly opening.

"Yes, I am rather fond of it," said a displeased voice from behind. Sasuke had emerged, looking paler and more bedraggled; he leant against the door-frame for support, panting slightly.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow in concern.

"Nothing serious," the brunet said evasively, straightening his position to emphasize his point.

"Did the porn object to being hidden?" Naruto teased, chocking back a laugh. A bitter look was shot his way, and he felt the warmth on his face intensify by a great margin.

"Bathroom's second on the left – don't touch anything," Sasuke replied, retreating back into his quarters without another word. Naruto followed cautiously, stepping inside unfamiliar surroundings once more.

The neat and tidy entrance room had met his expectations; he'd always assumed Sasuke would be organised behind the scenes. However, he soon took back his words as he ventured into the living area.

"It's – it's…" he stammered, in search of a suitable word to describe the incredible mess before him. Towers of empty instant food boxes loomed over him, piled precariously on top of one another. Naruto trod carefully over a selection of magazines and papers, their covers were scattered throughout the entire room, torn and outdated.

"You'll have to ignore the mess, I didn't plan on having company," Sasuke said half-heartedly, glancing from behind an oak cupboard door.

The room in front of him resembled his own living quarters without the mass of empty ramen packets and stains. Naruto scanned around for any patch of floor left uncovered by disposed food packaging and dirty laundry – there didn't seem to be anywhere.

Sasuke had left the curtains closed, leaving the living area in a dull light, which made finding the bathroom door somewhat difficult. He pondered climbing over the furniture towards the curtained windows, but quickly decided against it as his eyes fell upon the sharp shards of broken bottles stuck within the sofa's navy-blue material.

"Get a move on – I need a shower too!" Sasuke shot across the room, noting the other boy's dawdling and gawping. "Second on the left – hurry up!" he snapped, pointing to a small corridor in impatience.

"Err, there's a slight problem," Naruto chipped in nervously.

"What now?" Sasuke snapped, slamming down a small box of painkillers. "Do you want me to keep a look out for any guys in bunny-suits? I'll guard the door, shall I? Or better still; I'll come in and scrub your back, how does that sound?"

"Well, that'd be very nice of you, but… well, I've not got anything dry to change into, you see," apparently not noticing the heavy sarcasm in the other boy's voice.

"Oh," Sasuke breathed, anger temporarily draining from his face as he lapsed into deep thought. "I've got a spare uniform," he said, looking the blond up and down as if to take measurements. "Might be a bit big."

"Oi, you're only a few inches taller!" Naruto said protectively, crushing an assortment of snack boxes as he strode over to Sasuke, intent on comparing heights.

"A few inches makes all the difference," Sauke replied, amused by the intense shade of scarlet the blond had turned.

"Just you wait – I'll be taller one day and then I'll- mpph!"

A towel had been thrust forcibly into his mouth, preventing any further insults from escaping and he felt himself stumbled forwards, as a persuading force pushed him into a brightly-tiled room. "Shut up. Shower. Dress. Get out." Sasuke ordered, exasperation becoming evident in his voice.

Naruto grasped the towel and slung it over his back, infuriated at the thought of being silenced by a towel. Before closing the door, he turned to Sasuke with a light grin, tipping the edges of his lips as a look of mischief sparkled in his eyes.

"Didn't you say you'd scrub my back?"

"Not until the bunny-suit guy turns up," Sasuke replied simply, with the reassuring certainty that the likelihood of any guys turning up dressed so ridiculously was impossible.

"And if he does?"

'Then, I'll scrub your back – now go shower!'

Naruto was determined to take his joke a little further however, Sasuke made it perfectly clear that the conversation had ended, by giving the bathroom door an almighty slam.

----

Left alone once again, Naruto began to turn the dials on the tiled-wall and hastily stripped of his sodden garments. He felt strange just standing there, completely bare and exposed in the middle of Sasuke's surprisingly messy bathroom. Unlike the living area, this room actually had rare openings of floor space.

As he pulled the patterned shower curtain open, refreshing icy drops splattered against his skin, rejuvenating his aching body in chilling relief. He welcomed the freezing current, embracing the numbing haze and closing his eyes in relaxation.

"Finally,' he said breathlessly, feeling his fever and delirium retreat into the glacial nothingness. "Finally, it's over."

"Not going to be long, are you?"

At first he chose to ignore the question, putting it down to his imagination, though much to his dismay the shower curtains were pulled apart quite vigorously, revealing a horribly familiar face.

"Hope I'm not disturbing anything!"

* * *

**A/N: Updates next week, providing I don't get head-hunted for missing coursework, heh.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I apologise for the lateness of this chapter – I was having one of those lazy weeks with extra writer's block. Again, thanks for the reviews! I love reading opinions on my ideas, whether they're good or bad. Enjoy the chapter! ;)**

****

**Chapter 4**

Unwanted Visitors

Naruto put a hand to his forehead in despair, muttering to himself incoherently, not bothering to cover up his pride.

"It's just I wanted to inform you that – oh my," Itachi paused, his eyes widening in astonishment as they rested on something far below. "Maybe this is a bad time?"

"You think?!" Naruto growled, glaring at the bunny-shaped figure in great annoyance and dislike.

"Quite possibly…" Itachi replied, still staring intently. "You're not sounding very happy; perhaps you'd like me to pass you a towel?" He smirked, offering a very 'manly' pink and yellow polka-dotted towel in the fuming boy's direction.

"No, I'd like you to leave – NOW!"

"But I only just got here!" Itachi put on a hurt expression, hugging the towel in an overdramatic sulk. His bunny-suit momentarily transformed, adopting a new colour scheme of moody blues and depressing greys. The ears flopped over in misery, as he gave Naruto a pleading look.

"You've already over-stayed your welcome," Naruto said, snatching the towel Sasuke had given him from the floor. "Get out before he sees you!" Wrapping the towel around his waist firmly, he dashed over to the window, opening it with speed and pointing outside, while throwing Itachi an urgent look.

"Oh, you have a friend over? Wonderful! Let's get acquainted!" exclaimed Itachi, abandoning his sulking immediately. "I just love meeting new people!"

Naruto bolted for the door, pinning himself against it protectively, just as Itachi bounded over to it enthusiastically, with an excited twinkle in his eye.

"I doubt you'll get on with him – he's uhm… er…" Naruto stammered, suddenly feeling his mind turn blank before it caught a reasonable excuse. "He's… ill, very ill – it's terrible – been throwing up the whole night! Best if you just leave."

Itachi frowned, noticing Naruto's reluctance to let him through. He quickly seized Naruto by the arm and pulled him aside with magnificent strength.

"Don't you worry; I'll make him feel better!" Itachi cheered victoriously, turning the door handle slowly, as he peered through the gap.

Not knowing what else to do, Naruto leapt desperately onto the bunny-suited mad-man, somehow managing to overpower him – he was pleasantly surprised by his own strength.

"Ooof – what'd you do that for? How rude!" Itachi growled, rubbing his head in outrage. "Don't you want me to help him?!"

"Maybe later, eh?" Naruto suggested, hoping to gain enough time to rid himself of the pink and fluffy menace. "I want to ask you something first," he added, quickly seeking out possible questions.

"Oh?" Itachi cooed from his slumped position on the cold-tile floor, dropping his anger for interest once more. "Ask me anything! I'll give you an honest answer!"

"Well…" Naruto began, discreetly putting himself between Itachi and the door, as he closed it quietly, thankful that Sasuke hadn't noticed it being left ajar. "I've always wondered…"

"I bet it's about my costume!" Itachi rejoiced, dusting himself off and jumping to his feet in happiness. He strode over to Naruto, leering over him menacingly. "You want one too, don't you?"

Naruto gulped, pressing himself further against the door, shaking his head vigorously. He imagined himself in the pink, fluffy attire, striding around town in a plinky-plonky fashion, ears flopping, face frowning. He'd have to change the subject again – this just wouldn't do.

"Why not?" Itachi said, sounding relatively surprised, catching his reflection in the mirror and smiling proudly in admiration. "You'd be the envy of all your friends – just think: while they're wearing old their boring rags and potatoes sacks, you'll be wearing THIS! Look how glamorous it is!"

"Glamorous isn't the word…" muttered Naruto, picturing his fellow team-mates in potatoes sacks – he allowed himself to smirk slightly at the image. "There's something more important I'd like to discuss."

"Aah, you're wondering how I got the sequins on, aren't you. Well, it looks tricky but really it's quite simple; all you need to do is-"

"No, no… it's something else – something about last night," Naruto pushed in, attempting to lure Itachi's interest away from his costume and how 'wonderfully splendid' each little detail was. Unfortunately, Itachi was too lost in his explanation to hear him, and continued to ramble.

"-and then, after sewing it all up you'll need to think about colours! Always remember complementary works best, however, if you're feeling a little more adventurous why not bring out some stronger colours and work them around-"

"That's wonderful but I'd like to know-"

"- and guess what?"

"What?" Naruto said eagerly, hoping it concerned the bizarre news he'd been told last night or any other subject which didn't relate back to sequins or fashion accessories. Itachi paused for a few moments, hesitating, then grinning he leaned in closer to the curious boy and whispered excitedly.

"The fun doesn't stop at sequins…"

Sighing, Naruto dropped his head, feeling the first few sparks of anger erupt from his empty stomach, though he was unsure as to whether it was anger or perhaps the first pangs of hunger – he hadn't eaten in the past twelve hours.

"You can use beads too – oh, the possibilities are endless!"

He glared at the rambling, bunny-suited man, a mixture of impatience and urgency washing over his exhausted face. Never before had he faced a situation like this – never before had he needed to silence Uchiha Itachi posing as an overexcited fashion enthusiast. He thought deeply, ignoring the torrents of fashion gibberish being hurled in his direction. Surely he'd stop? He had to stop at some point – how long was it possible to talk about beads?

"Now, you might be thinking 'How do I know which beads to use?' Well, worry no longer; I'll tell you!"

How could this man be known as one of the notorious killers? He sounded like some kind of overly-cheesy sales-man selling cheap cleaning products door to door.

"Are you getting paid to do this?" Naruto demanded as a last resort.

"Paid - to help you?" Itachi questioned, finally abandoning his bead drabbling. He cocked his head in puzzlement, diving into an invisible pant-pocket and retrieving a scrap of paper.

"Pester – are you paid to pester me?" Naruo corrected him, glad to be back in control of the conversation somewhat. Itachi's dark eyes darted up and down, as he inspected the paper, turning it in a variety of directions before he made his conclusion.

"Nope, it's an order from higher up," he stated, suddenly becoming quite serious. "I'll be helping you until you acquire the desired item."

"Desired item?" Naruto asked in a hushed tone, noting the distinctive change in Itachi's expression. Removing his gaze from the paper, Itachi's eyes slowly wandered to the pile of abandoned clothes in the corner, where a small, murky puddle was gradually forming.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you," he said with distant regret, "you've got to find out for yourself."

"I'd rather you tell me," Naruto said, clenching his fists in impatience. "I'd rather get the whole thing sorted in one go, so if you don't mind-"

"I'd tell you if I could, really I would – but right now the only clue I can offer is crumpled in the pocket of those wet pants over there." Itachi nodded his head in the direction of Naruto's wet clothes, seemingly saddened by his lack of information.

Forgetting his responsibility of blocking the door, Naruto strode over to the clothes pile immediately, snatching his pants and delving deep into any pocket he happened to encounter.

"Oh, I see," he said, feeling the package of pills fall into his palm, "you're after these, are you? Well, I don't want them – you can have them!" He tossed the pills over to Itachi, relieved to be rid of one nuisance.

"Not quite," Itachi replied, catching the pills and holding them up at arms-length in curiosity. "You'll need these to find out."

A look of incredulity spread across Naruto's face at the prospect of swallowing more of the small kaleidoscopic pills. He'd do anything to get out of it – anything, yet at the same time his mind tingled with interest and he felt the urge to empty the entire package in one uncertain swallow, just to locate the mysterious item.

"No…" he breathed, shaking himself out of the idea. It was a trick; his mind and the pills working together hand in hand. They wanted him to take more – they wanted him to spawn more ridiculous illusions – they wanted to control him and he wanted to let them.

"NO!" Losing control, he slammed his fist against the wall aggressively, destroying several tiles in the process. They fell to the ground, giving off loud clunking noises and shattering into several-thousand tiny pieces. Naruto growled, grinding his teeth together mercilessly. He wasn't going to be foolishly lured into a trap – he refused to submit, instead he snatched the pills from a shocked Itachi, and deposited them down the toilet with a swift flush.

At first Itachi looked like he'd returned to his normal self; his eyes shone in infuriated glory while his sly smile drifted away to be replaced by an angered frown. He took a few steps forwards, without speaking, fixing his gaze on Naruto as if to establish a killing target.

"Oh dear, what a waste!" he said in a slithering voice, glancing at the package, disappearing underneath whirlpools of water.

"Good riddance," Naruto said simply, smiling. No more nonsense, he thought to himself victoriously. Vaguely, very vaguely, in the far caverns of his distorted mind he felt regret – regret for destroying something he wanted. What else were the pills capable of? Bob had mentioned a world of some sort, which Itachi had claimed to have travelled from… he couldn't remember the name.

"You've got yourself into a bit of a pickle now," Itachi said, running his fluffy fingers down the mirror in a circular motion, captivated by his own appearance. "Oh, he will not be pleased, at all."

"Too bad for him, then," Naruto scoffed, silently wondering who Itachi was referring to. He was about to ask before a sharp knock came at the door, causing him to jump backwards and crash into something soft and fluffy.

"I suppose I'll be seeing you later," Itachi whispered silkily into Naruto's ear, grasping the boy by the shoulders to prevent him from falling. "That's if you can find me."

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but the second bout of knocking at the door distracted him.

"Oi – what you doing in there? It's been twenty minutes already!"

------

A few moments ago Sasuke had made a horrible discovery. He'd headed straight to the kitchen after making sure his 'guest' was safely behind closed doors, and poured himself a glass of water. Taking two round tablets from the box entitled 'No pain; no gain!' he promptly swallowed with a quick gulp, urging his tormenting headache away.

It hadn't been too bad when he'd first woken up, but of course he'd been too caught up in the whole surprise appearance of Naruto and his secret accomplice business, and now his head throbbed relentlessly, pleading for sleep. He tried his best to ignore it, busying himself with preparing breakfast, despite the fact he wasn't hungry.

The cupboards were almost completely bare, save for a few half-emptied packets of instant noodles. He sighed, slamming the doors shut with frustration. Recently he'd forgotten about buying food and focused most of his savings on other purposes. He ceased his scavenging around the kitchen, suddenly deciding on a different searching purpose.

Quite worried, he threw open the ice-blue fridge doors, his eyes frantically scanning for something important – he didn't find anything. When was the last time he'd purchased food? Or bothered to replenish his supplies? He wondered, silently cursing his carelessness, if there were any hidden treats beneath the mountain range of rubbish currently occupying his living room.

The spectacular rubbish piles were soon demolished as Sasuke began his desperate digging, searching for something to quench his nagging thirst. He clawed through rivers of empty packaging; stray boxes and clothing cascading over him as he accidentally toppled their precarious structures.

After a short while he became engrossed with locating any form of alcohol, hardly hearing the loud conversation taking place in the nearby bathroom. Where was it? He was certain he'd hidden a secret supply somewhere. He stared around, wild-eyed, while beads of sweat slowly streamed delicately down his forehead.

What if he couldn't find it? It'd mean sneaking around town again, casually buying large amounts of alcohol without causing too much suspicion. Too risky, he thought… but then again, he could always say he was throwing a party of sorts – nobody would ask any questions; nobody dared to ask.

Finally giving up on his hopeless search, Sasuke fell back against the arm of his scruffy, patched-together sofa in defeat. He let his mind wander for a short while, seeking out possible plans to attain a fresh supply of booze, however, the continuous spasms of pain pulsating through his head were a big put off and he decided to just sit there, gazing off into blurred nothingness.

-------------

A loud bang, followed by a series of smashing noises pulled him from the depths of his hopeless reverie, and with an effort, he pulled himself to his feet, throwing a curios glance to the bathroom door.

What was that idiot doing now?

Another loud crash sent him dashing for the door, smacking it several times to announce his presence and disapproval. There were hushed voices, and the sounds of rushed panic soon followed. Checking the clock, Sasuke growled noting he'd less than ten minutes to get ready. He knocked for the last time, fiercely, reddening his knuckles and shouting.

"Err… yes?" came a panicked reply.

"As I said, what are you doing?!" Sasuke barked, infuriated by the fact he had to repeat himself.

"Oh… uhm, showering?"

"That's not what it sounds like!"

All went quiet on the other side of the door. Sasuke hissed, trying the handle of the door, and cursing after discovering it was locked. A whispered tone drifted through the silence, uttering rasped words of distress.

"… I don't need you anymore – go!"

Sasuke pressed his ear to the door in disbelief, picking up small fragments of conversation – there was someone else in there!

"Unlock the door," Sasuke ordered, trying the handle again.

"Just a sec," Naruto gasped, sounding almost breathless. "Need to grab a towel," he added, with a small laugh.

"I don't care – just open it."

Sasuke's demands were met instantaneously, as a soft click sounded and the door slowly slid open. Charging in, fuming, Sasuke glanced around expectantly, occasionally eyeing Naruto suspiciously.

"Alright," he said in a level voice, "where is he?"

Naruto jumped on the spot, trying to cover the rather severe gash he'd made in the wall.

"Uh, who?" he said, deciding playing dumb was his best option. Sasuke growled, clearly unsatisfied with Naruto's answer.

"You were talking to someone – who was he?'

"Oh… erm… he was…" Naruto tried his best to dawdle for time, nervously fiddling with the towel around his waist.

"Be honest," Sasuke said, alarmed by the gentleness of his voice. "What business does he have with you?"

An awkward silence haunted the room, as the dripping shower gingerly contributed a soft splash of water to the heightening tension. Naruto stared at the floor, goose bumps slowly appearing on the upper-half of his exposed body. He shivered, as a light breeze from the still open window crept across his skin in deathly delicateness. Coldness and hungriness took hold, allowing his mind to spew gibberish.

"He's my imaginary friend," Naruto declared, finding an appropriate name for his new fictional character. "Hitachi," he finally decided on, unimpressed by his creativity – surely Sasuke wasn't that dumb?

"Hitachi?" Sasuke repeated incredulously, unsure whether to laugh or take offence. "Oh, that's a good one – I see what you've done there – very clever, shame we don't all find it funny. Anyway, aren't we a bit old for imaginary friends?"

"You think this is a joke?!" Naruto stammered, evidently disappointed. "It's real – well, technically he's not real, but that doesn't mean he doesn't visit me!"

"I'll bet," said Sasuke mockingly, "Does he get all dressed up for you too?"

"Sort of, in his own little way, yes… though I wish he'd dress normally – he stands out too much at the moment, if you catch my drift?"

Sasuke nodded, beginning to wonder if Naruto had lost the plot.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

Holding back a smirk, Sasuke glanced at the other boy sympathetically, as if to take on the role of a councillor. "There's food on the table," he began, dropping the subject of Hitachi completely. "Help yourself – I'm not particularly hungry."

'Oh, great,' Naruto said, relieved to hear something positive. 'Erm, about the wall…'

"What have you done now?" Sasuke questioned, seemingly calm. Naruto gulped.

"I had a little accident – I don't think it's too bad – just a small crack – how about I fix it later? Oh shit, you look angry…"

Sasuke bit his tongue, repressing his annoyance and attempting to remain calm. He felt his head seizing up, and waved an arm dismissively in the direction of the kitchen. "Don't worry – just eat – uniform's on the table, and then please just-"

Several thuds sounded from the front door and broke him off.

"Stay in here," he snapped, shooting a dark look towards Naruto, who nodded nervously in response. Close to blowing his lid, Sasuke stormed over to the front door, which was currently being penetrated by another melody of knocks. He peered through the spy-hole, heart-sinking as a familiar one-eyed Jounin lazily stared back.

Sasuke opened the door slightly, making sure to block out any views of the apartment's messy interior.

"Ah, Sasuke, thought you weren't in for a moment," Kakashi said cheerfully, waving his hand in a greeting motion. "You're very late, you know?"

"I am?" gasped Sasuke, his eyes quickly darting to the clock. Kakashi was right; he was over half an hour late. "Heh…"

"You look terrible – busy night?" Kakashi said, raising an eye-brow in concern, as he noticed the exhaustion and paleness spread over his past-student's face.

"You could say…" Sasuke replied, feeling he'd said too much already.

"There's a little something I need to talk to you about – mind if I come in?"

Sasuke froze; suddenly embarrassed by the state of his living quarters and what was currently hiding in his bathroom. His lips slipped anxiously into a forced smile.

"How about we just talk about it here? I've gotta be rushing off anyway…" he offered, almost flinching as he heard movement in the bathroom behind him. Couldn't that idiot stay still for just a few minutes? What was so difficult about keeping quiet?

"Oh, not to worry; got someone to replace your morning shift," Kakashi said, most likely smiling from underneath his mask. "I brought breakfast too – needs heating up though."

Sasuke blinked, noticing for the first time that Kakashi was carrying two small boxes under his arm. He caught a familiar, tantalizing waft and his stomach purred enthusiastically.

Stifling a laugh, Kakashi pushed his way through, while Sasuke stood dazed, rubbing his growling stomach in comfort. The mess he could explain, but Naruto standing half-clothed in his bathroom was another matter…


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow, it's nearly been a month since I last updated. I blame three things; coursework, re-sits and being lazy. As always, thanks for the great feedback – keep it coming!**

**Chapter 5**

**Discoveries**

"Dead?"

"Yep, stone cold."

During the early hours of the morning, an entire Anbu squad had been found dead, neatly arranged in a circle, just outside the city-gates, absolute fear caught in their frozen faces. Sasuke dropped his breakfast without realising, too shocked to notice, while Kakashi shook his head in grievance, shifting rubbish from a nearby coffee table. He placed down several papers in the new space, each with a familiar face and name.

"The victims," he said, pushing the papers in front of Sasuke, who was still getting over the shock. "There were seven in total, nothing in common, aside from their morning shift." Pictures of the circle-shaped burial ground were paper-clipped onto the files, showing the murder scene and the distorted faces of the victims. Sasuke wondered if there'd been a problem with the camera.

"What a sick joke…" he said, attempting to take another bite of his breakfast: his hand grasped thin air before he realised the delicious micro-bun was spread across the floor. He grunted in annoyance.

"It's certainly not a joke," said Kakashi, with a knowing look in his eye. "It's far more serious – it's revenge – a grudge."

"But who?" asked Sasuke, knowing full well that Konaha had been at peace for several years after – well, he didn't like to think about it.

"I can name a few," Kakashi looked suddenly very troubled, and averted his gaze to the ground, as if he'd wanted to say something but held back, reluctantly. Sasuke could already guess who he was about to refer to, and gave an understanding nod, intensifying the pulsating pain in his head. He'd wanted to make a lunge for the painkillers again and down the entire packet in hope of having a bit of relief, however, he'd decided against alarming Kakashi with his dependent habits. Instead, he sat there, staring at his spoilt breakfast in contemplation. Thank god, Naruto was keeping quiet.

"Anyway," said Kakashi, noting the silence and discreetly changing the subject. "They've been investigating the scene all morning and haven't found any evidence – someone obviously knew what they were doing. I bet we're looking in all the wrong places and-" he caught Sasuke's unmoving form in the corner of his eye, and smiled for the first time after breaking the news. "If you want another one that badly, just say – I brought plenty, you look half-starved as it is, caught something?"

"Hm?" mumbled Sasuke, looking away from the bubbling mess on the floor to catch Kakashi's glance. "Oh, no – I was just thinking about-" his stomach rumbled, answering the rest of the question.

"Wouldn't mind another myself," said Kakashi, getting up and heading toward the kitchen. He dodged several towers of food packaging with divine nimbleness, slamming two more buns into the grimy microwave with ease. "Strange…" he began, his eyes drifting toward the bathroom door. Sasuke noticed and half-jumped.

"What is?" he said, as sweat began to snake down his face. Had he noticed Naruto's presence already? Of course – Kakashi never missed a thing. He needed an excuse – anything – a sleepover? They'd been discussing battle strategies? A surprise party? No – that sounded ridiculous, he wasn't the party type.

"Well, they've stopped doing these things in strawberry flavour and I can't think why," Kakashi replied, looking slightly disappointed. Sasuke gasped, relieved, and sank back into his springy sofa. "Best flavour if you ask me," he added, examining several broken appliances.

Sasuke merely made a grunt of agreement, and allowed the tantalizing fumes of fast-food to drift up his nostrils, as his stomach sang out longingly.

"Where's the bathroom in this place?"

"Th-the bathroom?" Sasuke cursed himself for stammering automatically. What had happened to the cool and calm character he used to be? He'd tuned into such a nervous-wreck recently.

"Yup – where is it?" Came Kakashi's sharp response, as he glanced around in curiosity.

"It's uhm… why?"

"Well, I'd like to dispose of a little of something," said Kakashi quite casually, "and what do you mean 'why?' What do you normally use your bathroom for, eh?"

"You can't!" Sasuke blurted out, trying his best to ignore the naughty twinkle, glistening in Kakashi's eye.

"Do I need a permission slip or something to do my business in your bathroom? If so, hand it over here – I'm desperate!"

"It's a mess!"

"Well, it'll match the rest of your apartment, then."

Sasuke growled; his face reddening, causing him to look a bit like a sunburnt pineapple. He clumsily clawed around for a good exiting excuse, as his throbbing head and rumbling stomach assured him that now wasn't the time for thinking. Kakashi eyed him suspiciously, before venturing out of the kitchen area to try several doors.

"Honestly, anyone would think you were trying to hide something from me…" He said, closing the bedroom door with a quiet click. Sasuke sat in a statuesque manner, wanting to gain the ability of teleportation, but then decided he couldn't afford to be picky and settled for self-combustion.

"Oi – you owe me a back-scrub, you know that?"

"Ah bugger," Sasuke muttered, readying himself for the interrogation – this was going to be very awkward. The microwave beeped, and the micro-buns were temporarily forgotten about, left to grow cold.

------

"A back-scrub, you say?"

The grin plastered across Naruto's face quickly subsided into an unwitting gawp of incredulity. He'd assumed the visitor had left when he heard the door click shut, though he was beginning to wonder whether he'd imagined that – he had been imagining a lot of things recently. Colouring up, he pulled the towel tighter around his waist, attempting to stay calm.

"I don't remember making any promises like that," Kakashi began, looking up as if to recall the memory. "Nope, definitely not."

"I meant Sasuke, heh heh," Naruto laughed nervously, watching a black silhouette on the sofa twitch in agitation suddenly.

"Oh, now I understand," exclaimed Kakashi, sounding triumphantly proud of his discovery. "That's why you didn't want me to use the bathroom – you were busy giving out back-scrubs!" He threw Sasuke an amused look, and stifled a laugh as the silhouette was consumed by another bout of twitching.

'That's right,' said Naruto, unknowingly committing himself to further questioning. _Idiot_, Sasuke mouthed from his crouched position of shame; he knew Kakashi took great pleasure in teasing, though he was shocked to hear his actual response.

"Fair enough," he said, smiling slightly. "Mind if I go in there before your… treatment? I believe Sasuke has some important news to tell you."

Kakashi was obviously not in the mood for one of his teasing sessions, and quickly shut the door as Naruto let him by, leaving the two boys in silence. Sasuke didn't make an attempt to start conversation; he slowly got up and grabbed the packet of painkillers and threw them aside in aggravation as he realised there weren't any left.

"Well, that could have been much worse," Naruto said, breaking the silence. Sasuke ignored him, glaring at the empty pack of 'No pain; no gain!' as if he wanted to set it alight with his fiery glare.

"What's the news?" Naruto pushed on, stealing Sasuke's place on the sofa, trying to avoid any prying springs that might want to embed themselves into his bare skin. For a few moments, Sasuke didn't reply and simply continued staring. He then, very silently, claimed Kakashi's empty place and turned to face a curious Naruto.

"There's been a murder of sorts, a very peculiar one," Sasuke spoke slowly, in a remorseful tone, selecting the appropriate words to explain; he knew Naruto wasn't as dumb as he made out, but it was still difficult news to break. He went on to explain about the mysteriousness of the killer, and handed the victim papers to Naruto to examine.

After Sasuke had finished speaking, Naruto bowed his head as a sign of respect, and let out a saddened sigh. Another long silence followed – Kakashi was taking an awfully long time in the bathroom.

"So, we're off for the rest of today?" Naruto asked finally, poking at a leering spring half-heartedly. He hoped Sasuke wouldn't replace the silence with talk of Hitachi.

"It would seem so," Sasuke replied, not wanting to say too much.

"Any plans?"

"Not that I know of," Sasuke lied, running his plan of visiting every alcohol-selling shop in the district through his mind for flaws – there were many, but he didn't care – he was desperate after all. Ideally, he'd liked to stay away from his local Tavern tonight; he had a creeping suspicion the night-watch would be increased after today's tragic events.

"Same here," Naruto said, his mind wandering also. "Fancy a training session together?"

'Hmm?' Sasuke grunted; he'd been far too caught up wondering if he'd had enough cash to replenish his precious supplies for the night and had missed Naruto's suggestion.

"I was just thinking of doing something productive in our spare time, what do you think?"

"Depends what you mean by 'productive," said Sasuke, looking over to the bathroom door for the eighth time in puzzlement.

"Well, you know… getting out there and doing something useful - doing something beneficial with our time. We could do it together – a group effort, how about it?"

Sasuke thought about the suggestion for a short while, his forehead creasing in concentration, as he weighed up the good and bad points. "I'd rather sleep," he said with certainty, imagining an entire day of resting and boozing, which to him was the perfect day.

"But – we can't sleep together all day, we need to-" Naruto bit his tongue and Sasuke's eyes widened in astonishment.

"Busy the rest of the day, I assume?" came an amused voice from behind; Kakashi had finally emerged from the bathroom after perhaps an hour, clutching his favourite book.

"You were reading?!" Sasuke gasped in disbelief, desperately hoping Naruto's last words hadn't been heard,

"Yes, thought I'd give you two some alone time," he said, tucking his book away safely. "Some time to be productive," he added with a sly chuckle. Both boys were at a loss for words; Sasuke gritted his teeth while Naruto turned a similar shade to the ketchup stain on the sofa.

"Well, then, I'd better be taking my leave," said Kakashi, noting the boy's embarrassment. "I'll be seeing you both tomorrow, bright and early – we've got a town to interrogate."

"Th-that's right," Naruto agreed shakily, watching Sasuke squirm in humiliation from the corner of his eye – it was a rare sight. Of course, when he'd spoke of them sleeping together, he'd not actually intended the both of them get down and dirty in the same bed, definitely not, though he found he wasn't actually repulsed by the idea.

"Oh, before I go," Kakashi chipped in, half-way through the front-door, "it appears you have a blockage – might want to get that checked out." He nodded his head toward the bathroom, a small air of amusement in his voice.

Naruto abruptly forgot his embarrassment, replacing it with panic. The pills! How had such a small bag of pills managed to block up a toilet? Was this that pink-fluffy bastard's idea of a joke? He wasn't amused.

"I'll take a look later," Sasuke muttered, still avoiding eye-contact. Kakashi departed with a final chuckle, vanishing behind the door with a swift movement. An exasperated sigh had followed, as Naruto was a shot a murderous glare.

"What on earth were you thinking saying THAT?!" Sasuke snarled menacingly, his dark eyes bulging wildly. "He'll never let it drop – it'll be joke of the century!"

"I was just being helpful!" Naruto bit his tongue once more; 'helpful' had probably been the most inappropriate word to use. Sasuke picked up on this almost immediately.

"Helpful?! In what way was implying that we plan on spending the entire day…" he'd paused for a moment, groping for a suitable word.

"Getting it on?" Naruto offered, the desire to flee into the bathroom becoming increasingly tempting. He couldn't risk the chance of Sasuke discovering the small bag of pink-fluffy-menace-capsules hiding in the depths of toilet pipes, he was in a bad enough mood already.

"Yes, getting it on – a ruffle of covers – fun around the back – badger burrowing – through the post-box – exploration of the great black depths – gar, I need a drink!" Ending his mini-rant and slowly closing in on explosion point, Sasuke kicked over a nearby pile of dirty washing, swearing and cursing as he went.

"You're quite the poet," Naruto said, impressed by his team-mate's extensive vocabulary. "I'll get you some water, should calm you down."

"Don't need water…" Sasuke growled, beneath aggravated breathing, targeting his next laundry pile to demolish.

"Oh, we're being picky, are we? Alright, what'll it be, my good sir?"

Sasuke didn't reply - he hadn't been listening; searching for alcohol required his full concentration. Eventually he'd realise there wasn't any left, and he'd need to blow another load of cash on supplies once again. It was an unending cycle he'd lapsed into over the last few months, without noticing. He quite liked it, really, apart from the crippling headaches, loss of memory and waking up half-drenched – all was fine.

Confused as to why he wasn't getting an answer, Naruto approached Sasuke gingerly, unsure whether to help or stop his frantic search. He then remembered he had a blockage to clear, and seized his chance to escape.

"I'll - I'll go sort out that blockage for you, heh?"

"Yes, whatever you like – just put some bloody clothes on!"

Sasuke appeared to pay attention when he needed to, seemingly keen on Naruto's idea of leaving him alone for a few moments.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that!"

"Don't apologise; just do it."

-----

The uniform had fitted surprisingly well, sort of. Ignoring the baggy sleeves and dress-like shirt it was a decent fit. Naruto glanced at himself in the mirror, adjusting his collar accordingly. He was confused, very confused; when he'd attempted to flush the toilet all had been in working order – had Kakashi lied? Or maybe he was referring to something else… Pondering, Naruto fiddled around in his baggy-shirt pockets unconsciously. A small scrap of paper slipped into his wandering hands; it was a receipt.

His eyebrows raised into the far reaches of his hairline, as he gawped at the obscene amount of money spent.

"All of that on booze?!" He gasped out-loud, reading down the lists of prices and items. It was unbelievable. Why would Sasuke even need such a large quantity of alcohol? Naruto wondered for a few moments, whether Sasuke was throwing huge secret parties every night and not inviting him, it'd explain all the booze but it didn't make complete sense.

An icy-crackle of realisation shot down his spine suddenly, could Sasuke be an alcoholic? He'd never fully explained why he was wandering around town in the early hours, looking half-dead and stinking of vomit.

"It all adds up," Naruto whispered, somewhat shocked by his discovery. The door creaked open.

"What does?"

"He's an alchi – I should have known!" It took a short while before Naruto noticed his team-mate learnt against the door, looking horrified.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I hope you like long chapters, cos I don't… all my chapter plans kind of fly out of the window, never to return. >.>**

Chapter 6

Red Leaf Inn

He couldn't believe he was doing this. Ideally, he should have been at home resting up in the warm confides of his bed; however, his feet had led him in the complete opposite direction, toward the trader's district, where he tracked a tall, slender figure, gingerly nipping in and out of alleyways. This particular figure had thrown him out in the blistering cold only a few hours ago, declaring his private life was his own business. Which in a way was true, and Naruto respected that, though he couldn't help but worry for his team-mate's newly discovered nasty habit. He couldn't watch a friend's life slowly but surely be captured and destroyed by such repulsive substances, even if he had been treated unfairly.

After giving the other boy a few hours to cool off and collect his thoughts, Naruto had dropped by once more, hoping to gain a training-buddy. Sasuke had turned him away quite abruptly, deciding that a strong door slam would be a sufficiently easy alternative to verbal dismissal. Slightly offended yet still tenacious, Naruto hung around the surrounding woodland area, patiently waiting for any signs of life. A grin of achievement played over his face, as soon after he caught sight of a skulking shadow drifting quickly in the direction of town - its intent clearly being of the alcoholic kind. Frowning at Sasuke's sudden predictable nature, he followed behind quietly, his heart pausing in motion as the figure stopped hesitantly every now and again, contemplating a destination. His long, winding and unnecessarily complicated trail had eventually led Naruto to the entrance of a neglected-looking building, which appeared to be in use.

Squinting cerulean caught sight of a wooden sign blowing against the weak afternoon breeze, and blinked several times in astonishment. 'The Red Leaf Inn' was clumsily carved into the surface of the cracked sign, looking to be in dire need of repair. Naruto gulped as the words triggered off a bout of memories he'd desperately tried to forget about and had been successful in doing so for a short few hours. He'd referred to his experience last night as a dream – a really, bizarre, messed-up dream and way too much ramen. Of course, that made sense. At least, much more sense than what he'd been visited by. He nodded, assuring himself everything was fine and that he should focus on helping Sasuke rather than reflecting on the meaning of ridiculous dreams.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto pushed open the sturdy oak-door, surprised by his lack of strength as he put a great amount of effort into pushing before the door finally complied. Within moments of entering, he was greeted by several familiar scents merging together to form something unfamiliarly foul, which quickly clung onto his clothing and caused his eyes to burn in annoyance. Coughing, he glanced around, taking in the shadowed faces of the bar's occupants and curious stares of the less-drunken inhabitants. He shuddered as he felt the searing burn of many hostile eyes hovering over his foreign figure, holding him on the spot in critical analysis. Amongst the glares, growls and gawps he couldn't find the face he was looking for and so without a second thought ventured carelessly through crowds of drabbling onlookers.

Much like its exterior the tavern's interior was old-fashioned, dilapidated and most likely the meeting grounds for many shady characters. Naruto felt out of place, he legs yearned to bolt straight out again and forget about Sasuke and his stupid drinking problem – he wouldn't do the same in Naruto's position, would he?

A rough tug came at the side of his cloak, momentarily knocking him off balance. He stumbled, and was about to open his mouth in outrage before the hand snatched in his direction once more like a ravenous vulture.

"Fancy a drink, sonny boy?" said a gnarled voice, accompanied by the breath of several rotting corpses mixed with sewage and various other unpleasant odours that were difficult to identify. Naruto pulled away immediately upon gazing at the face of his acquaintance, feeling his senses suddenly flee in frozen fear. It was an elderly lady, he thought… then again it could have been male, he wasn't entirely sure – it was essentially just a pile of reeking, discoloured rags with a pair of bulbous eyes and a half-eaten carrot of a nose wedged haphazardly underneath pages of flab and scabs. Her hand grasped onto his cloak tightly, attempting to lure a fly into her web.

"I uhm er- no thanks," Naruto began; horrified as he realised he couldn't pull away. "Now's not a good time."

The pile of rags cackled, jiggling as several repugnant wafts ascended on Naruto's retreating form. "If you come close, I'll show you something you'll like…" She then intensified her vice-like grip, hissing in a disgustingly excited manner. Naruto shuddered, cursing his immobile body and praying for a distraction – anything would do, even-

"I'm sorry to disturb your little date, Miss, but I'm afraid this guy's taken – hard luck – maybe try someone along the eighty-plus age line? That nice gentleman over by the fire has been giving you the eyes all night, I do believe."

Gratitude rushed over Naruto, feeling the grizzly hand abandoning his cause. He quickly regained his balance as his unknown saviour from behind supported him. He watched in wonderment as Pile of Rags whipped her stare over toward the fireplace expectantly. She frowned in disappointment.

"That's the coal pot!" she snarled, spreading several layers of spit across Naruto's dumbstruck face.

"Oh, is it? My bad, I do hope I've not upset you – please enjoy the rest of your evening. We'd better be on our way now."

Naruto allowed himself to be led away from the swelling mess of hisses and snarls, too overcome with relief to worry about the identity of his saviour. He passed by several strands of tables and benches, covered with snoozing and drooling drunks before being forcibly sat in the far corner of a table near a window.

"Like the older ladies, do you?"

"Oh no – no – it's not what you think! She forced me to – oh," Naruto halted halfway through his desperate explaining, eyeing a seemingly friendly face with wavering suspicion. Bob smiled calmly in response, taking a casual drink from his pint.

"What a coincidence…"

Naruto nodded hastily, his insides gorging as he remembered their last meeting and what he'd been given. He shuddered imagining the flailing antics of the pink fluffy menace, handing out fashion tips at every given opportunity, while reeking chaos upon any unfortunate acquaintances.

"Fancy a drink? Might do you good," Bob offered, already noticing the awkwardness floating around the blond boy. Naruto shook his head, biting his tongue nervously as he glanced around for any signs of his team-mate. Again, his efforts were rewarded with the cold stare of a nearby drunkard, who made several strangled grunting noises of acknowledgement. He felt Bob's inquisitive gaze fixated on his troubled face, and began to fidget anxiously, while his mind tried to locate a good ice-breaker.

"D-did you hear about the murders? Yes, that's a good topic!" He settled on finally, oblivious to the fact he was speaking out his mental train of thoughts. Bob chuckled slightly, setting his pint down and crossing his fingers in interest.

"Murders, you say?"

"You don't know? I thought everyone-" His tongue froze, suddenly numb, as he realised the matter may have been kept confidential. Bob raised a pierced eyebrow in interest, his eyes seemingly fascinated.

"It's just a rumour, you know – probably nothing!" Naruto added, wishing he'd accepted the drink offered earlier on – anything to relieve the tension.

"Ah," Bob replied knowingly, uncrossing his hands and reaching for his pint once again. "Funny things rumours are…"

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, wondering if a riddle was heading his way.

"Regardless of who or where you are there's always one lurking around and everyone always knows," he said, smiling in an almost intellectual manner.

"But you just said you didn't know!" Vagueness always confused Naruto; it required too much pondering.

"You know, there's a rumour floating around concerning the appearance of an eccentrically dressed individual at the moment, but that's of little importance – how was it?" Bob's tone changed abruptly with the subject and he shuffled closer to the perplexed blond, eyes burning with curiosity once more.

"I saw him!" Naruto declared, banging his fist against the table. A nearby drunk growled in protest and attempted to attack the source of loud disturbance, however, he lost his footing and ended up spilling the remnants of his drink down his moth-eaten rags. He sulked for a short while, and then sat for a few moments in puzzlement. While watching the defeated drunk, Naruto noticed a staggering shadow hovering by the bar. He squinted carefully, picking out the familiar spikes and garb of his team-mate. "God, he's drunk already…"

"Who?" Bob asked, sounding uninterested and urgent to press onto a different topic. "And the pills – how were they? Feeling better?"

"I uh… well, they're gone."

"Gone already? Busy night, I assume?"

"Not quite… I uhm, misplaced them?" There was no better sounding word or explanation for flushing them. Well, maybe there was, but he couldn't seem to locate it.

"How unfortunate," Bob seemed a little disappointed, as he reached into one of his cloak pockets. A sudden thumping noise sent Naruto's attention over to the bar, where a small brawl was taking place. His eyes widened as he noticed the central cause of conflict was a certain someone he'd been looking for. Ready to take action, Naruto rose from his chair, but was quickly stopped by an ambiguous whisper from Bob.

"I knew you'd be back for more."

"Sorry – what? I need to go fish my friend out from over there and-" Naruto didn't remove his eyes from Sasuke's aggressive form, which had recently collided with a table-load of large and highly loud men, who were currently showing their displeasure through a dance-routine of thumps and flails.

"Those murders – I believe a particularly fluffy friend of mine can answer a few of your questions." A light-bulb flashed radiantly in Naruto's mind and he suddenly abandoned all thought of rescuing Sasuke.

"You see him too?!"

"Everyone can see him, so long as they choose to," Bob said with a sly smile, pleased he'd got his wanted reaction. Naruto tilted his head in astonishment. "He'd like to see you again," Bob added, setting a familiar bag of pills down on the table.

'Can he really help?' Naruto asked in a hushed tone, as he finally brought his gaze upon a smirking Bob.

"I can't make you any promises, but…"

"But?" Naruto shot in, desperately grasping onto any sign of hope. He hadn't realised before, in fact he'd almost forgotten about what Itachi had told him completely, though now it seemed to make perfect sense. He'd predicted the deaths of several villagers before the morning discoveries, which was rather unnerving – no wonder he'd put it to the back of his mind.

"But I can give you 10-percent off!"

"Huh? 10-percent off what –oh," Naruto said, watching the bag of pills being thrust slowly in his direction. "That's all very nice – but I don't need anymore – I need to focus on finding Itachi. Where do you think I can find him?"

"They'll help," Bob persisted, staring intensely. "Trust me."

Naruto hesitated, eyeing the colourful pills with growing suspicion. He'd taken them when Itachi first appeared, and hadn't seen him since the whole toilet incident – it couldn't just be coincidence, right? In the far corner of his eye, a stumbling blur slowly made its way over to him, tripping and falling as it struggled to maintain its balance. Sasuke had seen him.

"Alright – hand 'em over here!" Naruto hissed, panicked by the presence of his drunken team-mate. He hastily tossed a wad of cash to Bob, who understood his customer's sense of urgency and decided to take his leave at that very moment.

"Nice doing business with you," he said, with a devious glint in his eye, smirking as Sasuke clumsily staggered past. Naruto nodded, heading towards his unbalanced friend to offer a bit of support. Bob was ignored as he faded away hazily into the crowd of drunks.

"Hmm.. a blond cactus… how about a drink, eh?" came the first slurred words of Sasuke, who quite happily latched onto Naruto's steady figure, becoming absolutely infatuated with his hair. Unfamiliar with Sasuke's overly 'touchy feely' behaviour, Naruto couldn't help but warm up as his spikes were tugged on in fascinated adoration. It was amazing what drink could do to a person.

"Eh heh, let's go home?" Naruto offered nervously, attempting to pull Sasuke's wandering arm over his shoulder and failing miserably. Considering he'd been the primary cause of the brawl and the main attraction, his injuries seemed minimal, aside from a rather bloody-looking arm.

"Home? You must be kidding!" Sasuke drawled, smacking the wide-eyed blond hard on the back. "The night's just begun!"

"No really, I think we should definitely-"

"What you having? It's on me!"

Naruto sighed in exasperation, as he felt another forceful tug on a particularly sensitive hair. All of this amused Sasuke very much; he spent a further five minutes debating the matter of talking cactuses and then went back to his fondling of hair.

"C'mon you really need to lie down," Naruto said, his patience wearing thin and his teeth beginning to grind against each other.

"Actually," Sasuke said, momentarily refraining from plucking Naruto's hair, glancing around the bar area curiously. "Would you mind pushing me in the direction of the bathroom? I can manage the rest… just about...yep."

The wink accompanied with drabbles sent an electrifying rumble through Naruto's stomach, and he snatched the scruff of Sasuke's collar, dragging him through herds of grazing drunks, dealers and various other bizarre folk.

* * *

Naruto stood outside a grimy cubicle, his eyes resting on a weary-looking reflection, which returned his worried gaze, downtrodden and lost. Sasuke was busy emptying his guts out, grunting and groaning every now and again to show his annoyance. He'd obviously regret it in the morning – he always did – Naruto was sure of that.

"Everything alright in there?" He asked, giving the door a soft knock. There was no reply for a few seconds and then a loud growl was heard, which sounded a bit like 'what do you think?'

Satisfied, Naruto headed toward the sinks, slightly repulsed by the green gunk growing around the discoloured basins. The place hadn't been cleaned in years by the looks of things; even the floor had some kind of otherworldly growth spouting out of every other crack. No wonder the place was empty. Though he was thankful for that, he was alone more or less… with just his packet of pills and half-passed out Sasuke for company.

Now seemed like the opportune moment to try another dose, maybe a larger dose would make his wanted target appear sooner? It was worth a shot. He was certain the pills weren't harmful in the long run, or at least he hoped. Sighing and repeating to himself it was for the greater good, he poured several into his hands, shaking in anticipation as he swallowed hard.

"Urrgh, it's horrible in there… someone's thrown up everywhere – disgusting." Sasuke hobbled out of his cubicle, looking slightly more sober and panting heavily slumping against the slimy wall.

"I wonder who…" Naruto replied, his eyes rolling.

"They ought to clean it up, really," Sasuke continued, apparently unaware he was the perpetrator.

Naruto felt he should explain, but instead just remained silent, smiling at the disgusted expression on his team-mate's face. He blinked in incredulity as the smile was returned, genuine and sincere. Then, quite abruptly, as if by magic, he'd somehow managed to move across the bathroom without noticing, and now was just a few short breaths away from Sasuke. He pondered whether he'd teleported for a moment, finally coming to the conclusion that the process was clearly impossible under the current circumstances.

Sasuke hadn't noticed either; he was far too preoccupied with messing around with the toggles on Naruto's cloak – they were wonderfully interesting, though it wasn't very long before something else distracted him. They eyed one another warily; both forgetting to exhale, uncertain of why neither had taken a step back and why Sasuke's hand had lingered on the blonds' shoulder, fixed in position. The answer came soon enough, in one definite movement.

It took a little while for Naruto to actually realise what was going on, and it took another short while for him to convince himself it was real. Their bodies were pressed against one another quite snugly, while their mouths had interlocked, tongues winding, one being greatly more adventurous, and the other unresponsive – stunned.

Was this alright? Should he respond or pull away? His body made the decision for him, burning in lustful desire, as Sasuke's hand snaked underneath his clothing, sliding delicately over his exposed skin. All his thoughts, doubts and every other mental process were discarded in the dull haze of discovery, as he allowed the other boy to take charge, pinning him against the green-scaled walls, madness pulsating in his eyes.

"… now, wait… hang on just one-"

It was impossible to get the rest out - his words were captured and lost in the next onslaught of kisses – he had to comply. Again, for a brief moment, through the dense cloud of confusion, desire and taste of vomit he wondered if Sasuke was likely to pull a knife against his throat or declare it was all a test. At this thought, he pushed the other boy off; hardly noticing his pants fall down at precisely the same second. He hadn't wanted to end it, though he felt strange just admitting it – he felt strange with his insides still tingling in unbridled exhilaration.

"Idiot…" Sasuke whispered, clinging onto his bloodied arm in a fallen position, while he kept his face shadowed underneath bangs of ruffled hair.

"I – uh… just wanted to stop… uhm… doing stuff for a few seconds, just to see what exactly is going on…," Naruto gasped breathlessly, hoisting his pants up frantically. "But er… that was – that was just-"

A laugh bellowed from the end cubicle, conveniently filling the tense silence with a new awkwardness and setting panic alarms ringing in Naruto's head. Had someone been listening in the whole time?

"Shit…" Naruto mouthed; this was obviously a bad joke and he'd fallen for it, quite willingly. Gaining the desire to become invisible, he contemplated whether doing a runner would work to his advantage – it wouldn't, nothing could explain plain old natural instincts and reactions.

He turned to Sasuke, closing his eyes, hoping to pretend everything was an accident with his indifferent tone. "Look, I… huh, where'd he go?"

Smoke began to flow vigorously from beneath locked cubicles, covering everything in a blanket of opaque velvet. The laughing continued, gradually beginning to sound more and more crazed – someone was obviously very amused, though all of this seemed far too cheesy to be terrifying. Sasuke had mysteriously disappeared it seemed, without a trace, leaving Naruto to stumble around blindly by himself.

"What the heck's going on?!" He demanded, crashing into his third cubicle door in aggravation, almost breaking his neck in the process. "Bloody smoke!"

"Do you like shows?" cooed a sickly-sweet voice from no particular direction.

"Shows?" Naruto repeated, wondering if the voice was referring to the show he and Sasuke had just performed.

"Yes – shows! All the stars, the lighting, the special effects, the musical numbers, the cheers, the jeers and most importantly the costumes!" The voice glowered in marvel at its finishing point, becoming much louder and distinct. Naruto backed away, somewhat discouraged.

"If you could wear any costume, what would it be?" It continued, drifting through each empty cubicle airily. "If you were forced to pick?"

"I-I don't know…" Naruto replied nervously. "Are you going somewhere with this?"

"Oh yes, but first you must choose!"

"Well, I guess… wait- who am I actually talking to here?" There was definitely another presence in the room – it was comforting yet unsettling, a swirling mass of ambivalent colour.

"Choose quickly or I'll choose for you!" The voice snapped, impatience heightening.

"I don't care, just tell me who you are - then maybe we can sort this out!" Naruto snarled in response, sharing the hurried feeling.

"You asked for it…"

* * *

**A/N: Just out of curiosity: Which costume would you choose? XD**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: About the really late update, well: as it's nearing Easter, there's an awful lot of pink bunnies around, and I just so happened to see one covered in yellow polka-dots, which reminded me of somebody, heh. Anyway, suddenly remembered I'd written this fic and that it might possibly still have readers. Fat chance, but worth a shot. Plus oddly enough I still had the chapter plan.**

**Enjoy the chapter. I'm not entirely sure how much my writing style has changed over the year - hoping it doesn't distract attention from the plot too much. As always apologies for OOCness - it's very intentional. **

**Chapter 7**

**Wonderland**

"I say; what a peculiar-looking man!"

"Oh, indeed, my dear Dr. Lee! What horrendous curse haunts such a tormented individual, I do wonder…"

"It is surely a disease, gentleman - stay back!"

Naruto squinted through the retreating mist, drowsily dumbstruck, as three looming figures on horseback came into view. He recognised them almost immediately, despite their bizarre clothing and eccentric accents. They sat atop horses of strawberry, mint and sky-blue, each of them clad in multi-coloured, polka-dotted suits, complete with top-hats and monocles. Naruto sighed; a creeping suspicion as to who might be behind this charade quickly became apparent. Rock Lee cleared his throat rather loudly, fiddling with his monocle, as his normally abnormally large eyes squinted in fascinated puzzlement, while Shikamaru gave a quick puff of his pipe in acknowledgement, before dismounting and adjusting his top-hat with an indignant huff. Kiba, who hadn't stopped waving his cane around since Naruto had first set eyes on him, leapt from his mount and continued to shake his cane in a menacing manner.

"Right," Naruto breathed, unsure of whether to laugh or despair, Hitachi had to be near; he was certain. "Where's he hiding?"

"Ooh, did you see that!" Rock Lee exclaimed, ignoring the question and pulling a notebook from his pocket, hurriedly scribbling down each detail before returning a widened gaze to Naruto, as if expecting more.

"He is capable of speech - how remarkable!" Shikamaru added, turning to Kiba for agreement, who vigorously nodded his head and increased the movement of his cane.

"Extraordinary; a talking carrot-man, who would have thought!"

Naruto paused, letting the last few words sink in, having particular trouble understanding the relevance carrots. "Erm, excuse me?"

More scribbling followed.

"Such a polite over-sized vegetable!"

"And here we are so rudely not introducing ourselves!"

"No need," Naruto cut in, attempting to scramble to his feet, but failing miserably, noticing his current orange attire prevented him from any kind of movement. Delayed discovery dawned as he realised he was in fact dressed in carrot costume. Hitachi was definitely behind this - no doubt about it.

"Splendid Vegetable-Stranger, I am Dr. Lee, a well-known and highly talented scientist from the Castle of Catastrophe," Dr. Lee stated proudly, momentarily refraining from his note-taking to dismount and offer Naruto a greeting handshake. As he was unable to move and a carrot, Naruto merely grunted in response, wondering if the costume had an exit. Satisfied, Dr Lee continued: "and this is Dr. Shikamaru and Dr. Kiba, also of Castle Catastrophe, we are honoured and amazed to make your acquaintance."

Why hadn't he taken the ambiguous voice more seriously and chosen a costume which actually allowed movement? He shuffled around pathetically like an infuriated worm, with the urge to be dressed in a pink and yellow polka-dotted bunny costume growing. Was this some kind of punishment? He didn't recall doing anything wrong, nothing recent at least… aside from, well - the incident with Sasuke, which still hovered over his conscious, demanding a reason.

"Mr. Carrot-Man?" Dr. Lee had apparently noticed his discovery's sudden loss in interest, and had ordered Dr. Kiba to prod at him gently with his cane until he responded. "Gently, gently; don't want to aggravate him,"

"Patience, Dr. Lee, I assure you he'll come to again, you'll see," Dr. Kiba insisted, while Dr. Shikamaru cupped his chin in contemplation, his mind debating the possibility of other talking vegetable people.

Becoming irritated by the persistent poking in his side, Naruto forced his body to move slightly to the left, deciding rolling was probably his only means of escape. This was quickly noted by the keen eye of Dr. Lee, who after making extensive notes on the process, proclaimed with panic: "He's getting away!"

As he rolled away, ever so slowly, Naruto finally got chance to see his surroundings, through flickering images - much like watching an old fashioned movie, apart from the landscape was far from monochrome. Every colour in existence had been splattered haphazardly across the land, each shade merging into one another to form a psychedelic wonderland. Trees of purple blues and liquid hues were clustered together in segments of twos, threes and twenty-sevens, while streams trickled veins of rainbow serpents, meandering into kaleidoscopic heaven. All of this, combined with the continuous rolling, caused Naruto to become very confused.

Dr. Lee and friends were hot on his tail, climbing over each other in hope of catching the retreating carrot first. It was of course, Dr. Shikamaru who prevailed, as he'd formulated a devious plan beforehand, however, Dr. Kiba seized control of the situation with a swift flash of his cane.

"Now now, Mr. Carrot, that was very rude of you, do apologise immediately!"

"We only wanted to experiment on you!" Dr. Lee added, intending to be reassuring but having the opposite effect on his target.

"Look," Naruto said desperately, taking an instant dislike to Dr. Lee's suggestion of experimentation. "I'm not actually a vegetable - this is just a costume. If you'd just help me get out of it and stop making notes, I'd prove it to you!"

There was an awkward silence, in which the three bamboozled doctors huddled together in deep discussion, glancing towards their potential experiment subject every couple of seconds in suspicion. Their behaviour was much like Hitachi, Naruto thought, though the situation was made three times worse. He waited anxiously for a few moments until the doctors reached their decision.

------------

"Mr. Carrot, are you listening?" Dr. Lee asked, looming over, his monocle twinkling under the techni-coloured sunlight. The other two followed his lead, gathering around to block any chance of escape. "After much debate, we have come to the conclusion that you are not a vegetable,"

"Thank god," Naruto sighed, relieved, finally a sign of normality! Maybe they weren't deranged - maybe they were just like his real friends - maybe they wanted to help him. He chanced the theory: "Now, how about helping me out of this thing?"

"If you please, Mr. Carrot, I was not finished," Dr. Lee said dismissively, with an annoyed frown and a quick scribble on his pad. "You aren't a vegetable, but we'd still like to experiment on you."

"What - why?!" Naruto felt his insides freeze in dread, cracking painfully as Dr. Kiba suddenly stopped shaking his beloved cane, and held it up to eye level, getting ready to aim.

"As you can see, Mr. Carrot, you are about to be tranquilized - any protests?" Dr. Lee offered, kneeling down and patting his new experiment encouragingly.

"Yes, please don't do this," Naruto gasped, wriggling wildly, smacking Dr. Shikamaru in the stomach, who was far too busy plotting to notice he'd been attacked.

"Fool!" Dr. Lee spat venomously, dropping his notepad in enragement, "After him!"

Momentarily liberated and putting his all into a slightly faster roll escape than his last, Naruto found himself somehow making progress away from his captors. The polychromatic scenery flew past in turbulent waves, and occasionally he caught sight of the crazed scientists running behind. After a short while of high-speed rolling, he began to wonder why they hadn't caught up - had he lost them?

He purposely crashed into the nearest tree, turning on his side to discover he was still being pursued, though fortunately it seemed the scientists were only able to run in slow-motion. How awful for them. A smirk of achievement crept onto his lips; he was going to escape and somehow he'd rid himself of his carroty shell.

--------

With things actually working to his advantage, he rolled on quite carelessly, not noticing the heavy panting and growls gradually creeping up behind him.

"Salutations once again, Mr. Carrot,"

A gigantic claw loomed, spreading a sinister shadow over him, and within a few moments he was trapped once more. Pinned under the cover of a painful prison. Dr. Kiba laughed evilly, dropping down from the back of a salivating dragon.

"A capital effort, Akamaru, three cheers for you," he said, smirking triumphantly, advancing towards his prey. "And, as for you, Mr. Carrot, you've been very naughty,"

Was this a messed-up dream of an illusion? It was likely to be either… anything was possible here. Regardless of which, Naruto wanted out. He willed his mind to rewind, back to when he'd dealt with Hitachi's crazed antics and how he'd finally come to dismiss him. If he could wake-up somehow, break free and find himself back in the grimy toilet of shame he'd be content. Dealing with the embarrassing occurrence would be difficult, but he was certain it'd beat being experimented on any day!

"HALT, foul beast! Step away from the fair maiden, I shall not let you harm her!"

"Oh, what a time to show up," Dr. Kiba let out a groan of resentment, and hopped swiftly back onto Akamaru, flipping his cane into battle position. "Meddlesome idiot,"

Naruto could hear the sound of galloping hooves, mixed in with a cacophony of thundering dragon roars and powerful battle cries. He lay there helpless, paralysed in obliviousness, lying in wait of a wake-up call. Had someone come to save him? Surely not, the mysterious hero had referred to a 'fair maiden' not a carrot. Sighing, he closed his eyes and continued to listen out for any signs of victory.

-----

"You do not like your costume," a saddened voice whispered, breaking through the clangs, twangs and pangs of battle. "Do you know how much thought I put into it? Did you not see the humorously clever link? I spent a day thinking that up - a day!"

"Hitachi," Naruto murmured, not opening his eyes, "I knew it was you,"

"Well, at least you've had the sense to give me credit," Hitachi huffed, cheering up slightly. "What was wrong with it exactly? I mean, I thought you'd laugh - I trust you have a sense of humour, yes?"

"You know something!" Naruto glowered, remembering his conversation with Bob, "About the mur-"

"I know many things…" Hitachi said dreamily, already floating off down one of his tangents "if you were to ask me how to cook a tantalizingly delicious carrot surprise, I would say begin by chopping up-"

"An entire anbu squad-" Naruto cut in, patience finally retreating and letting anger take hold.

"Oh, certainly not! How awful!" Hitachi gasped, sounding close to tears, "I'd never resort to such horrible measures."

"Just listen for one moment," Naruto pleaded grinding his teeth, suppressing aggravation. "That night you 'helped' me - the stuff you told me - about the approaching threat…"

"Oh yes, I was absolutely right, wasn't I? I'm always right, you see, it comes from being a-"

"I want you to tell me who's behind it. You were about fill me in with the details before my friend interrupted us, but you scampered off quickly leaving me looking like raving lunatic, remember?"

"Oh, yes, that was rather funny, wasn't it?"

"No. Who are they, Hitachi?"

Hitachi let a few second pass by, as if he was asking permission to answer, "Ever heard of deja-vu?"

"Now's not the time - just tell me."

"I would quite happily tell you, but someone's about to disturb us, I don't think-"

"Now, Hitachi!"

Hitachi let out a petulant sigh of defeat. "The Special Friends."

"Special Friends?"

"Oh yes. I shall be leaving you now, but here's a new outfit to impress your charming young knight, best wishes!"

"Hitachi!"

----

He could hardly believe it; was disappearing after giving out fragments of information Hitachi's speciality? It was awful, dishearteningly disappointing, he felt like he had several pieces of the puzzle yet none of them joined. Where did he even begin? What did 'Special Friends' even mean? Why were they doing this? Further more how the heck did it relate to Hitachi kitting him out in ridiculous costumes and depositing him in strange, deranged worlds.

"It just doesn't make sense!"

"Are you hurt?"

Confused cerulean flitted open, washing over familiar oak, concerned and questioning. Naruto forced a nervous smile, without removing his stare from an armour-clad Sasuke, who kneeled over him protectively, eyes glimmering in unadulterated respect.

"How long have I been out?" Naruto said, sitting up, assuming he was back in the world of reality, suddenly overburdened with real memories and embarrassment. "I suppose you want an explanation, well… let's just say…"

"Don't say another word; you are clearly very upset," Sasuke cooed sympathetically, offering an armour-covered hand.

"Oh no, no… no," Naruto collapsed backwards, closing his eyes once more, willing himself awake. He wasn't back; the dragon-slaying Sasuke was proof enough. This was getting beyond ridiculous. Where was the way out?

"My Lady!" The Knightly Sasuke exclaimed, rushing to his damsel's aid, his tone laced in genuine anxiety.

"My Lady?" Naruto questioned, surprised, trying to come to terms with his team-mate being gallant and adoring, while sober, though his own current attire came as a bigger shock. Flowingly frilly and figure-flattering was beyond a joke, it was far into the realms of a deranged mind. HIS mind. "I hate Hitachi."

"Then I hate him, too," Sasuke proclaimed automatically, frowning in hatred and contempt. He continued to hold Naruto upright, loyally supporting, faultlessly serving.

"You already - oh, this is just too surreal," Naruto found himself incapable of constructing a sentence, struggling to find his mind amidst the fog of the improbable, the impossible and the downright ridiculous.

"I think you need rest, my fair Lady," Sasuke said conclusively, scooping the dumbstruck blond up with flawless ease. It took a few moments for Naruto's mind to process the fact, and after becoming aware he showed his displeasure through a series of kicks and wriggles.

"Argh - put me down!"

"Calm down, now - I've scared the dragon away, there's nothing to worry about," Sasuke said reassuringly, tightening his grip and prevailing against Naruto's drastic fidgeting.

"It's not the dragon I'm worried about,"

Sasuke smiled gently, twirling the fit of hisses, growls and scratches around, as a shower of multi-coloured petals fell from out of nowhere, drenching them both in a vivid whirlpool. "You needn't worry about a thing when I'm around,"

Naruto eyed the insistent Knight impatiently; he'd never imagined such sap-covered words to flow so freely, especially from an alcoholic loner. Instead of looking down-trodden and restless, Sasuke's face was lit up in dignified confidence, setting each of his features ablaze in optimism and pride. Everything about him was brighter, happier, carefree, resilient to negativity. Naruto could almost feel himself falling into the inviting oaken stare, a warm sanctuary far from drug-dealers, bunnies and crazed scientists. It was all there, the absolute paradise, personified in armoured magnificence, fortified under the silken tendrils of dark hair, such beauty, such perfection, such…

"Shit," Naruto gasped, pulling away from the hypnotic gaze. "Someone's messing with my head!"

Sasuke laughed heartily, before whistling his stead over, and giving Naruto an encouraging push into the saddle. Without giving his 'damsel' much chance to recover, he mounted the considerably conventionally coloured black mare swiftly, and urged her on, turning around and winking knowingly.

"Better hold on, she's fast,' he warned, grabbing the reigns and eyeing his passenger expectantly. Naruto frowned, reluctantly complying, shuddering against the chilling sensation of armour, spreading across his exposed hands. Sufficiently satisfied, Sasuke urged the mare into a strong gallop, and they flew across fields of iridescent radiance, swooping over creatures of prismatic elegance, and gliding through spiralling liquid ecstasy. Though the sights were indeed astonishingly spectacular, Naruto grumbled irritably, having trouble adapting to the motion of riding. He was painfully ashamed, for having to hold onto an overly dashing Knight, who appeared to bear every trait of his team-mate, aside from the attitude and desire to win a damsel's love and approval. Surely it'd be over soon?

------

"You never know when a dragon can strike; they're cunningly deceptive beasts - ruthlessly deviant, so tricky, very tricky indeed - don't underestimate them, my Lady - oh no - a friendly dragon is a deadly dragon!"

Naruto nodded wearily, watching the spitting flames of the campfire viciously pouncing and darting over one another. Never before had he been so taken with a fire; it had been a suitable distraction from the endless lines of gibberish and reminiscent tales of dragons, damsels and more dragons. Several times the notion of running away had crossed his mind, yet he lacked the energy to even stand after falling off multiple times during the ride.

"There once was a time I acted foolishly in the presence of a dragon," Sasuke continued, his tone turning momentarily sombre. "It taught me something… I learnt to be vigilant, to always remain cautious, and to never trust a dragon - never! Yet, I paid a high price, a horribly fatal price…"

A tense silence.

"O-oh?" Naruto mumbled, half-listening, noticing a disappointed-looking Sasuke from the corner of his eye. So long as he made a noise of acknowledgement, the Knight would keep talking, eager to share his 'fascinating' memories of valiant victories, however, it seemed his stories had taken a sudden turn for the worse.

Sighing, Sasuke continued, shifting around awkwardly, "Destroyed, ruined, desolated, forgotten, diminished, beaten brutally…"

"Aah…" Already Naruto could see this was going to be another epic, branching into two maybe three hours. Still, he leant forward, paying attention; he might be missing a clearly obvious message. Perhaps he'd mention the Special Friends… "What was?"

"My pride!" Sasuke howled, jumping to his feet and turning away dramatically in pained shame. "Gone, all gone - scarred forever, my reputation burnt and my dignity reduced to a pile of crumbling ash…"

"How awful," Naruto said, urging a little compassion into his tone, wondering if now would be the appropriate time to squeeze for information.

"I wish only to warn you, my Lady, and honour your ceaseless beauty, your…"

Obviously not. He'd yet to explain to Sasuke that he wasn't a woman for fear of the infatuated Knight turning aggressive. After all, his only two interests consisted of dragons and damsels, nothing more.

Far from finishing his flattery, Sasuke knelt slowly, eyes intense with unconditional adoration. He tenderly took Naruto's hand, whispering in riddles of love. "-such sweet, enchanting golden locks, capturing the splendour and luminous delicacy of a sunrise…"

This Sasuke mirrored his original's impulsiveness and Naruto shuddered anxiously, growing increasingly uncomfortable, as he was pulled forward, closer and closer. "W-well, thank you, but there's something you've gotta know…"

"My Lady, you're going to confess?" Sasuke purred, excitement flooding over his face, as he crept nearer, hopelessly engaged.

"Uh uh, yeah," Naruto said, diving around for a formidable explanation, becoming increasingly nervous as the landscape turned a warm shade of lustful red, pulsating in romantic anticipation. "I'm not who you think I am."

Sasuke's euphoria melted into dejected disagreement. "No such thing, my Lady, what nonsense - you are surely mistaken in your perturbed state. Rest and I shall tell you of how I defeated a dragon using just a bucket."

About to reject the impending story of buckets, Naruto opened his mouth, but was caught in motion, as he noted the presence of a pink rabbit. It was watching him, hardly visible from beneath the shades of cave.

"A rabbit," he began, standing up with renewed vigour, and striding towards the cave as if entranced by the small pink rodent.

"No, my Lady, a dragon - not a rabbit," Sasuke corrected, half-way through explaining the terrifying details of his bucket-blasting strike back. He sprang to his feet suddenly, all air of romance vanishing from his attitude as he realised where his damsel was headed. "Where are you going? That's a dragon's cave!"

Naruto wasn't listening. His one and only priority of that moment was the rabbit. He knew it was significant, something about the way it stared, something subtly summoning. At first he was enticed by it's odd colour, though he quickly remembered where he was and how logic had been long forgotten. Another memory sparked, a memory which still required a conclusion.

From behind he could hear hurried footsteps and the word 'dragon' being repeatedly cried in urgency, but he didn't stop to check; he didn't have time. Already, the rabbit had started to scamper away, its tail bobbing into darkness. He broke into a run, forgetting the aches and pains of riding. There was a chance of catching it, definitely, if he could just get in that cave without being 'rescued.' Unfortunately, his rescuer had caught up, almost immediately, thwarting his efforts with a quick grab and forceful embrace.

"There is nothing but death and dragon in that cave," Sasuke gasped desperately, holding on tightly, like a child with its favourite toy.

"Oh, but you're wrong," Naruto said, improvising, as he pretended to look in the distance, a look of feigned fear plastering his face. "My good Knight, the dragon from before has returned - it is right behind you. Perhaps you should-"

"Behind me, you say?!" The Knight became seemingly possessed with madness and relinquished his hold, performing a magnificently skilled somersault, preparing for battle. "Stand back. I'll handle this beast!"

Naruto nodded understandingly, rushing toward the cave, one intention in mind. He didn't wait for Sasuke's puzzled reaction or question whether running into a dark dragon's cave was actually a good idea. He could think about all of that later.

-----

Damp, misty clouds of dizziness greeted him upon entry, ensnaring his curiosity and guiding him further into the unknown. For a few moments, he stumbled around blindly, arms outstretched in hope of guidance. The rabbit had vanished apparently, or maybe it was hidden beneath the endless layers of mist. He wasn't sure. His only source of comfort was a faint light up ahead, which flashed in bright intervals, accompanied by a choir of whispers. They encouraged him, beckoning for discovery.

He followed willingly, eager to learn more, growing increasingly absorbed in their hypnotising symphony. He couldn't resist the melodic rhythm, it was seductive in a way, heightening his nerves and slowly seizing control of his body. As the numbing sensation continued to spread, a feeling of overpowering tiredness hit him suddenly, causing him to tumble.

Falling forwards into the light, he held his breath in apprehension, his unquenchable thirst for knowledge asserting itself more than ever…

"My Lady, stop - it's a trap!"

-------

**Assuming people are still reading at this point: Updates soon - I'm gonna finish this thing!**


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